Fame, Infamy
by berrywarbler
Summary: Blaine Anderson is tired of being just another famous face, and when Sugar Motta provides him with the opportunity to try something new, he doesn't hesitate to grab at it.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n**: this is born out of a complete and total crack!headcanon that mottaberry would be the biggest anderbros fans if the anderbros were famous. this is...not that. or it is, with a lot of things changed from where it started. anyways, a zillion and 9432081 thanks forever and ever to kira (claddaugh ring) for reading every sentence and to nikki (who i don't think has a ff account) for helping me with sugar because, fuck is she hard to write.

enjoy~

* * *

Blaine Anderson led, by all accounts, a charmed life. Not many 24 year olds had a top selling record under their belt, a handful of awards littering their apartment and thousands of screaming girls anytime he tried to step outside in public. These were the things he tried to appreciate, to keep in mind any time he was told, time and time again, that he and his brother should consider putting out another record. Every time Sebastian set them up for another photo shoot-the ones that almost always seemed to have them act more like lovers than brothers, a smirking manager in the background at all times-he tried to remember that he was lucky. That there were millions of people everywhere who didn't get to achieve their dreams, who didn't get dragged along towards fame just because their brother sent in a demo of them singing to the right person at the right time.

Still, at times, Blaine couldn't help but resent the way his fame was handed to him.

Every time he had to laugh and smile about how the mash-up of old Duran Duran songs he and Cooper had somehow made popular once more, it killed him a little inside. The rest of the album they'd put together, regardless of how well it sold-and it did, hitting numbers Blaine himself had never even thought possible for himself-it was all mindless pop, cultured for the masses to inhale. They didn't want anything more than that, wanted to treat Blaine like the 'teen heart throb' he'd been cast as, as Sebastian so wonderfully put it, manhandle him and use him as a way to brag to their friends. 'Well, I saw him in Times Square and he took a picture with me!', 'I met him and Cooper at a concert and they both hugged me!', and 'He's so dreamy, I thought I was going to pass out!' were among the more popular things he heard of from his fans trying to get his attention. Cooper reveled in it, ate every single praise and adoration thrown his way and begged for more. He winked at girls on the street and sent them into shrieking fits of laughter and embarrassment, he told talk show hosts and magazines that he always knew he'd end up wildly famous one day, rode the high of their success with such ease and grace that Blaine couldn't help but feel bitter towards it.

He wanted the fame, and the success-the ability to act on his talents and get paid for it was the dream, of course. But he didn't want to be another passing pop star, whose biggest claim of fame became guest spots on those criminal shows that had 17 different series in different locations. When he spoke about this to Sebastian, Cooper had shot him a look of hurt, declaring that he _loved _his time on the set of NCIS: LA, thank you very much Blaine, and he was honored that his role was so well-received that Law and Order wanted him for an episode as well.

"We'll figure something out for you," Sebastian had promised him, "but in the meantime, I really think you should go for the second record deal."

Blaine just shook his head in disgust before burying his head in his hands.

How difficult was it for him to be taken seriously?

* * *

The answer came to him in the shape of a small girl cutting in front of him on his way to get a coffee the next morning, his words of 'excuse me' going unheard as she sidled up to the counter and promptly began ordering what sounded like enough beverages for an army. He sighed heavily, tired and exhausted and spending the rest of the day with Cooper as they figured out their next move-together, or apart, Blaine hadn't yet made up his mind-was sure to be as draining as he figured it might be.

"Oh, and don't forget I need, like, three biscotti's! Stat!" the girl called out before whirling around to go wait for her order to be prepared, coming face to face with Blaine. He tried to turn elsewhere, worried she was going to cause a scene if she recognized him-it wouldn't have been the first time, and he was tired of trying to find new coffee shops , even in New York City-but he had nowhere to hide before she started talking. "I thought you never went anywhere without Cooper," were the first words out of her mouth, and it was such a shock to him that he didn't even know how to respond.

"I'm meeting up with him in a bit," he replied warily as the barista called him forward to take his order. He placed it quickly, with a smile and a generous tip, anything to get him out of the suddenly claustrophobic space. The girl was still staring at him, as if waiting for more explanation, and it was stifling to endure.

"Are you guys ever going to put out a new album? Oh!" she exclaimed, her eyes lighting up as she grabbed onto Blaine's forearms without thinking, "Is Cooper going to put out a solo album! That'd be so totally amazing, his voice is so dreamy," she sighed wistfully, staring off in the distance at god only knew what, Blaine trying to retract away from her but she only seemed to dig in more.

"I take it Cooper is your favorite, then," he replied, trying not to let the slight rejection get to him, and her nod of affirmation with a bright smile honestly did make him chuckle a little to himself.

"Rachel is the one who like, _adores _you, not that she tells anyone-everyone in our company thinks you guys are totally overrated, but since it's my daddy's theater no one will argue against me when I say you're not," Sugar started, letting go of him long enough to dig out a phone from her back pocket, immediately hitting a number and Blaine's stomach pooling with dread before she started talking once more. "You should talk to her, it'd make her life even if she pretended it didn't-she says the only one she idolizes is Barbra, but I've caught her watching the video you guys made to _Hungry Like The Wolf/Rio _a few too many times for her to not be attracted to you, whatever she tells Jesse."

"I see," Blaine said, grabbing his medium drip as one of the workers handed it off to him, the girl-who still hadn't bothered telling him her own name-frowning as her phone call apparently fell through.

"Well, she's missing out," she shrugged, seemingly over it already, "but she's probably off running lines with Jesse. Opening night is only a few weeks away, after all, and it is Broadway, and Rachel is nothing if not a perfectionist. It'd be totally obnoxious if she was anyone else, but she's kind of like my best friend these days and she already promised to thank me in her acceptance speech for her first Tony award."

He nodded in response, trying to get out of her way with a quiet 'it was nice to meet you', but she grabbed his own phone before he could stop her, seeming to put her phone number in it. "If you get tired of playing the pretty boy in magazines and being upstaged by Cooper," she told him, "give me a call. We could totally use your name above our theater to draw in audiences, the managers aren't too confident that a couple of no-names are impressive enough for a show as classic as _Phantom_," she finished. "Oh! And the name is Sugar. Sugar Motta. You want a part, it's all yours. We're still looking for a Raoul."

She seemed to dismiss him with a wink and a "Later, cutie," at that, turning around and asking what was taking so long with her order, and Blaine was left with the reminder of one of the dreams he'd long since given up-the dream to play on a stage on Broadway, on his own, without Cooper.

* * *

By the time he arrived at the office Sebastian worked out of, Blaine had made up his mind. Raoul or not, he wanted to jump at the chance that he might not get again. He'd prepared an entire speech while walking the fifteen blocks-leaving him winded and cramped, but it was worth it for the fresh air and the idea of a whole new life this chance could bring him-and was sure he could convince Sebastian this was a tactical move for him, that it could open up so many more doors and earn Sebastian even more money.

Cooper wasn't there when Blaine walked in, not that Blaine was that surprised. Cooper was always running, at best, five minutes behind on his own time, and often stopped to sign things for fans if they came up to him. If Blaine was honest with himself, he admired how casual Cooper could be about the whole thing, how laid back and easy going he was towards all of it. A part of him wished he could do the same, but one of them had to keep a level head and think about things like the future and, most of all, their safety. More than once people had tried to harm them, and while it made Blaine more reserved, Cooper didn't seem to have that problem.

"Well, well, well," Sebastian greeted as soon as Blaine was allowed into his office. "If it isn't baby Anderson. Come up with a plan there, killer?"

Blaine rolled his eyes at the term of endearment, more than used to it after knowing Sebastian for nearly three years, but nodded nonetheless. "I actually ran into this girl this morning-"

"A girl, huh?" Sebastian smirked, leaning across his desk. "It has been awhile since we've had any rumors about you floating around regarding your love life, aside from those about you and Cooper at least."

"No not-what do you mean, about me and Cooper?"

"That's not important," Sebastian waved off, and despite Blaine's narrowed eyes-he was vaguely uncomfortable about what kind of things Sebastian had the power to spread around in the general public, but he needed to stay on his good side in order for Blaine to take this opportunity.

"She offered me a role in a Broadway show," Blaine continued instead, Sebastian snorting in response.

"Broadway is dead," Sebastian reminded him. "No one cares. Unless it's something like Equus, in which case-" his broad smirk was more than enough to further annoy Blaine, who shook his head with a determined 'no'.

"It's Phantom, apparently, and they want me for Raoul but-"

"Raoul isn't a big enough part. That's not even headlining it, for fucks sake," Sebastian interrupted, as if Blaine didn't know that. "If it was Phantom, maybe, but not for _Raoul_."

"That's where you come in," Blaine smiled easily as he sat down in one of the comfortable chairs across from Sebastian's desk. "You could probably convince them to give me Phantom, and I'd be headlining a Broadway musical, and everyone wins. You get your client in a classical musical that practically everyone knows, going from pop sensation to serious actor, and I get to do something I actually want to do."

"They're not just going to hand over Phantom, Blaine," Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"You managed to convince Madison Square Garden that we could sell out three shows in a row over Celine Dion's third last tour," Blaine reminded him, "you told E! to take a chance on two brothers who had nothing but an old 80's mashup of songs they'd been goofing around with since they were 5. And it was you who got Cooper and me on stage at the VMA's last year, handing an award to Britney Spears for video of the year. I don't think there is anything you couldn't convince someone of, Sebastian, if you want it badly enough."

"But I don't want this that badly," Sebastian shrugged.

"But I do," Blaine countered. Sebastian studied him for a minute, seeming to take it into consideration, and he was almost convinced when Blaine's phone rang, the name 'Sugar Motta xoxo' popping up on his screen, and he almost smirked at the girls amazing timing before he held up a finger to shush Sebastian. "Hello?"

"We need to know if you're in or not, like, now," she snapped from the other end of the phone. "I told the director and he was totally in love with the idea, and he thinks you'd be great and all, but we need you to sign contracts today."

"I'm actually talking it over with my manager now," Blaine admitted, Sebastian sighing in disbelief, "but he's needing some convincing. Do you think you could come down, possibly with the contracts, and help me talk him into it?"

"Can do chief," she agreed, hanging up before Blaine could even give her directions or tell her where he was-he had an alarm going off in his head that said she somehow knew, but the girl was even smaller than he was and he didn't think she was capable of hurting a fly, so he let it go.

"Sugar will be here soon," Blaine grinned. "And we'll discuss my upcoming role then."

* * *

It took approximately an hour for Sugar to arrive, in which time Cooper showed up and left to go talk over with a lawyer about the contracts for a solo record that he was begrudgingly going into, sad eyes shot in Blaine's direction at the very mention. "Proud of you for Broadway, bro," he assured him, "but it won't be the same without you on my side."

Blaine had felt a little tug of guilt at that until Sugar came in, giant red sunglasses in place and a tall guy behind her, presumably the lawyer from the company to make sure everything went smoothly. Introductions went around the room, hands shaking and for a few minutes it was all pleasantries until Sebastian went into business mood, Sugar and Mr. Schuester, the business manager it turned out, sat down in the seats Blaine was used to seeing himself and Cooper in.

"I understand you want to sign baby Anderson over here for _Phantom of the Opera_," Sebastian started, Sugar blowing a bubble with her gum as she crossed and recrossed her legs, clearly bored with the conversation that had barely even started. "Here's the thing. You're not going to get the publicity you want if you cast him off as a character that's, quite frankly, not good enough for Blaine's extraordinary talent. You're going to want to utilize him for all he's worth. If you cast him, throw him in as the leading role, _use him_ to your advantage and ours."

"To be quite frank, Mr. Smythe," Mr. Schuester started, Blaine starting at hearing someone refer to Sebastian as such-it was always an alarming thing to remember that he was _respected _in his business, "Blaine's coming aboard with only a month and a half away from opening night. I've heard him sing, live even, and while he's good, I just don't think he has the vocal range required of the Phantom."

"He'll get training," Sebastian shrugged as if it was the most sensible thing in the world.

"Jesse would get, like, incredibly pissed," Sugar stage whispered towards her-boss? Co-worker? Blaine honestly had no idea what he was to her, or what Sugar did. She seemed to just _be_, which was working in his favor so he wouldn't question it. "Like, worse than when Mike told him he wasn't as good a dancer as he thought he was."

Schuester glanced at her before turning back to Sebastian, nodding in agreement. "We already have a Phantom, one who doesn't have to undergo training for his role, one who has been practicing opposite our Christine for years now. They have great chemistry and flow off one another. We have no idea how well Blaine would work in our cast."

"You're throwing 'chemistry' out as your excuse?" Sebastian smirked. "Think about all the money you'll make when you have a star on your playbill. All those teen girls swarming for tickets, paying hand over fist for merchandise. They're not going to do that for Blaine as Raoul, now are they? Not nearly as much as they will for him as Phantom."

"Jesse," Sugar repeated again, her eyes slightly bugging as she pushed the shades she still wore back into her hair. "Think about Jesse."

Blaine was about to tell Sebastian it was fine, that he'd take Raoul, really. He didn't need the part of Phantom, regardless of how tantalizing it was. To show off his talents, to prove he could be so much more than just a pretty face with a guitar, but Raoul would still give him that, if people would pay attention to his acting and his singing instead of his looks.

It was Cooper, of all people, who became his savoir as he walked back in with a grin, not even bothering to knock and Sugar almost fell out of her chair. "So, did you get the part of Phantom yet?" Coop questioned, shooting his trademark grin towards the newcomers, Sugar nodding her head quickly and Schuester sighing in defeat.

"You're going to need training," Schuester informed him. "And a lot of it. Starting immediately, Like, today."

"I got the part?" he asked, a genuine smile on his face for the first time in god only knew how long, Cooper wrapping him up in a hug before he wrapped his arms around a wide-eyed Sugar, lifting her off the ground as she squealed in either delight or terror.

"We'll have them draw up new contracts for you," Schuester said as he tried to reel Sugar back from Coopers side, completely unsuccessfully as she beamed up at Blaine's brother who appeared almost painfully oblivious to the effect he held over her, "And be at the warehouse on 44th in two hours. We're going to have to break it to Jesse that we've found our Raoul, and he's not going to be pleased to hear that it's him."


	2. Chapter 2

To anyone else, it might have seemed like Rachel Berry finally had everything she'd ever wanted. She had the leading role of Christine in _Phantom of the Opera_, soon to show on a real Broadway stage, alongside her long term on-again, off-again boyfriend Jesse while living in the city of her dreams and pursuing the career she'd wanted since she was a toddler, prancing around the house singing the songs from _Annie_.

But there was the nagging sensation that something wasn't quite right, that she was missing something that she couldn't place, and even as she laughed at Sugar's rendition of 'Candyman' on small stages when they went out on karaoke nights, or curled up with Jesse on his couch when they were 'on' once more, or even coming up with absurd dance routines and goofing around with Mike during rehearsals, she could feel it. It was unsettling, and much as she tried, sometimes she couldn't shake the feeling.

She was an actress, however, and a damn good one at that, so any feelings of discontent were kept silent and tucked away, buried beneath determination for a good career and a well-rounded life. She did her best most days, and it was on one of those that Jesse stormed in and interrupted her dance rehearsals, not even bothering to apologize as both her and Mike's concentration were broken.

"I got recast," Jesse seethed, pacing the room back and forth, Mike sensing the tension and knowing that his job was done for now, leaving the room quickly with a small wave and look of terror towards Rachel.

"What do you mean, you got recast?" she questioned, staying in her spot in the middle of the room to do some minor cool down exercises to avoid cramping up. "Is that even possible?"

"Apparently!" Jesse yelled, and Rachel hated to see him like this, out of control and yelling. He rarely lost his temper, despite his relatively intimidating demeanor towards others. Usually it was aimed at her, when they were fighting over something small and breaking up again, but that didn't mean it made her feel less bad. "When someone _famous _who can get us better _reviews _and somehow solidify us as a real _company_ comes along and buys his way in, demanding the part that I worked towards and earned!"

"I'm sure they didn't buy the part," Rachel scoffed, Jesse turning his angry gaze towards her and causing her motions to stop.

"I'm pretty sure pretty boy Blaine Anderson can't act worth a damn," Jesse retorted, "and god knows he doesn't have the vocal capacity to carry out such a significant role."

Rachel frowned at this, trying to picture the star as the Phantom-her Phantom, she realized immediately, her heart skipping a beat at the thought. Jesse had started ranting again, Rachel trying to at least appear supportive while her mind ran a thousand miles faster than it normally did. It wasn't that celebrities ever fazed her in the least-she'd run into a few in her own time, visitors at her elite university handing out acting tips and lessons, running the audition grind trying to land a role in a production that suited her, even just wandering the streets of New York.

But Blaine Anderson-she wasn't as aloof towards him as she appeared, and she hated to admit it, but she was more than a little curious about meeting him. It had been Sugar who got her addicted to the song he and his brother made famous, something she listened to more often than she'd ever acknowledge aloud. The girl was a fanatic, practically, though the object of her affection was Cooper all the way. "He's too short," she'd told Rachel with a crinkle of her nose when Rachel asked why Blaine didn't appeal to her, and while Rachel had to agree, her type tended to be towards the tall side, there was something about him that drew her closer.

And now she was going to have to rehearse with him, act with him, play a starring role opposite him, and she could see a little bit of the resentment Jesse was feeling. Her first leading role would carry a little less significance next to him, and she'd have to embrace that the theater wasn't full of people there to see Rachel Berry as Christine, but Blaine Anderson as the Phantom.

It stung more than she'd like it to have.

"I won't do this. I won't be fucked over because some fucking Hollywood asshole decides he wants a role that was already handed out. I'm done. I'll find another company, another show," Jesse was ranting, Rachel snapping to attention at those words.

"No," she demanded, holding her hands at her hips and glaring at him. "You will not do that, Jesse. This is too big a break for you, even if you are only playing Raoul. You _need _this company, Jesse, every bit as much as I do."

"What if it was you getting replaced, Rachel?" Jesse argued. "What if they got like-god, I don't know, Santana Lopez to come in and play Christine in place of you?"

"I wouldn't leave!" Rachel yelled, though she wasn't sure that was the whole truth. "I would hold my head high with dignity and grace and thank them for giving me a shot at all, considering that I could have been kicked out of the company!"

He snorted at her statement, clearly seeing through her in a way only Jesse had ever been able to fully do, before resuming his pacing. Rachel chewed on her lip for a moment before closing in on him, bringing him to a stop and hugging him tightly. He melted into her embrace, a little too tall for it to be completely comfortable but they worked, her lips planting a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth before she smiled at him. "I'm sorry that you've been usurped of your role," she reassured him quietly, "but what's done is done, and we'll get through it together. You'll still get to be my Raoul, and we'll still get to be on that stage with our names in a playbill and we're still doing it together, Jesse. Just like we always dreamed."

His sigh was one of resignation, but he leaned his head on the top of hers nonetheless, words left behind as she tried to comfort him as best she could, knowing that if there was ever going to be a strain amongst the cast, this was going to be its cause.

* * *

There was a clause in Rachel's contract that meant she had to attend vocal training, to make sure she could handle the difficulties that came along with her role. It was challenging and new, being told her voice wasn't good enough for something, but she almost relished in it. Jesse had been through a light training when they were first cast, but his voice was capable of doing most of the Phantom's and then some, whereas Rachel still had to learn how to hit much higher notes than she'd never pushed for before.

When she arrived at the studio she attended every afternoon to meet with her coach, April Rhodes, a washed up has-been who still needed to feel the vitality of the city, she found that April was late once more but someone else was waiting instead.

She couldn't help the minor panic that overtook her at seeing Blaine Anderson, the one who had graced more magazine covers than she could stomach, who she had watched on countless award shows just to hear him sing, who she had as one of her _ringtones _for crying out loud, sitting there cross legged on the floor as calm as could be, reading over what looked like the script to their musical in his hands.

Rachel had no idea what to do, if she should introduce herself or if she should leave, and after a minute or two of silence he finally looked up at her, a small smirk on his face as she lost all the color in hers. "I take it you're Rachel?" he asked, and she nodded, trying not to freak out too much. "Sugar told me about you," he continued, closing the script and placing it next to him on the floor. "That you're Christine, at least."

"That's what Sugar mentioned?" she finally managed to say, skepticism in her tone, because as much as she'd love for them to be, she was sure that would never be the first words from her roommates mouth.

"Well, I could have started with how she actually mentioned that she was in love with Cooper, but I was your favorite of the two of us, but I thought I'd save us both the embarrassment and not mention it," he grinned, clearly trying to make her feel a little more comfortable. She managed a high pitched laugh that didn't sound natural to her own ears, cursing herself for acting this way as she ducked her head to hide the blush crawling over her features.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out once she somehow got enough of a hold on herself. "I swear I'm not-I don't know why I'm nervous. And I know we're going to have to get comfortable with one another, being on stage for at least the next six months, and I don't ever get like this but-"

"It's fine," he said with a grin. "I'm pretty used to it by now."

That statement, surely meant to comfort her, only seemed to ignite an anger in her that she didn't see coming. She wasn't sure if it was her own rage from being so pathetic and humiliating herself, or if it was Jesse's for this guy-clearly so self-assured in his mannerisms-coming in and taking his place, but it was with a much steadier tone that she replied with "Of course you are." His eyes narrowed in curiosity, seeming to be caught off-guard by the sudden change in her own demeanor, and she tried telling her emotions to find some sort of middle ground before she scared him away, their production potentially ruined if she did, but they seemed to want to stay at the negative end, the one that wanted to tell him off for what he'd done.

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but Rachel found herself cutting him off before he could even begin. "Can you even really sing?" she accused, and immediately the comment seemed to land on him, hurt even though it shouldn't have. People critiqued him all the time, and she was just another fan as far as he knew, so why should it matter what she said? "I mean, not that you're not good, for a pop star, but I wasn't aware that our company had sunk to being bought for roles."

"Not that I have to defend myself to you," he said slowly, seeming as if he was trying to keep a temper in check, "but I didn't try and buy my way in here. If all I wanted was more fame and recognition, it would have been easier to agree with Coop on doing another album. That's not what I want, at all." She glared at him, not satisfied with his answer, and he seemed to stare back just as intently. "I'm just trying to be taken seriously here, Rachel."

"Then you should have put in _effort _and tried for the role like Jesse did!" she cried out, Blaine's head tilting as he took her in.

"Are _you _mad I got this role, or is he?" Blaine questioned quietly, and Rachel let out an indignant huff that said he had crossed a line, because she wasn't really sure. "I might have gotten the role from unconventional methods, but that doesn't' mean I'm not going to be every bit as invested as I should be. This is as big an opportunity for me as it is for you, and I'm not going to take advantage of that."

She didn't know what to say to that, instead leaned against the opposite wall and turned away from him, choosing to ignore him until April arrived, Blaine letting out a heavy sigh before returning to the neglected script, a silence falling over them that should have screamed 'uncomfortable' given the hostility that still charged through her veins, but somehow just didn't.

Rachel tried not to look too deeply into that.

* * *

"Aren't you super pumped to work with Blaine Anderson?" Sugar squealed when she burst into their apartment that evening, Rachel attempting to decompress after a trying afternoon of vocal training with the superstar in question. "He's totally a dreamboat, although Cooper is definitely more my type," she continued, either not noticing or ignoring Rachel's lack of response. "Jesse seems really pissed though. I don't know why, he should know by now that my ideas are always the best."

"This was your idea?" Rachel finally responded with a raised eyebrow, putting down her book that she couldn't seem to dive into as easily as she'd like to have.

"Of course," Sugar replied simply, falling backwards onto their couch and kicking her shoes across the room in the process. "I cut in front of him in line this morning when I was getting coffee, that way he'd have to talk to me."

"You-" Rachel paused in her clarification, because of course that's exactly what Sugar would do. She'd done it countless times, and if Rachel knew her roommate and close friend at all, she knew that if there was a chance to work her way into Cooper Anderson's life, she'd find a way. "How did the role of the Phantom come up? We were looking for a Raoul, after all," she chose to stay instead, and to her credit, Sugar did look a little fidgety.

"I offered him the role of Raoul, which was like, totally gracious of me because he didn't even audition? What if he like, sucks at acting or whatever? But his manager was all, 'no he has to be Phantom!' and then Cooper showed up and it was like the world was just kind of all rainbows and unicorns and my heart was flying and his eyes are so blue, Rachel, I thought I was looking into the ocean. He could have asked for the role of Christine and I would have agreed if it meant getting to stare into them some more."

Rachel fought off a small chuckle at that, because she knew it to be the truth. "But you brought Schuester with you," Rachel pushed instead, grabbing Sugar's attention back to herself. "So that something like this wouldn't happen."

"Rachel, please. Schuester is a sock puppet so my daddy thinks that business is taken care of. We all know that in the end I get what I want from both of them anyways, they're totally my bitches."

"Still, that was Jesse's part and he earned it, Sugar. He fought tooth and nail for it just like the rest of us did," Rachel continued, standing up and beginning to pace, her hand running through her hair as all of her anger-or Jesse's, she still wasn't sure whose it was-boiled over again. "And then you just get this-this _Blaine_ to come in with the charming smile and gorgeous voice and-"

"He is a hottie with a body," Sugar interrupted at the same time Rachel seemed to realize what she'd said aloud. "And you get to kiss him. I would be jealous, but I still have my sights set on the other brother. Oh my god, Rachel, we could be like, sisters-in-law!" She shrieked, moving so swiftly across the room and tackling Rachel in a hug that she had no time to prepare for, the wind knocked out of her once more as she ignored Sugar's sudden wedding planning to think over what she'd been trying to repress.

She'd been attracted to Blaine even before he got the role, in a vague _you're famous and talented and cute and I'd love to make out with you in a secluded corner if I ever got the chance, but I won't because you're famous and talented and when are we ever going to meet? _kind of way. But after spending the afternoon with him in vocal training, despite her best efforts to remain cool and indifferent, if not bordering on hostile, towards him-she had found herself laughing at his jokes, smiling in return when the classic grin she saw all over the internet and newspaper stands littering the city sent her way, and somewhere along the lines, Rachel had let herself get a little more than starstruck towards him.

Somehow, she felt herself being charmed by him.


	3. Chapter 3

Jesse, it turned out, was a bigger problem than Blaine had anticipated.

He had managed to turn most of the cast against Blaine before he even arrived, Rachel among them, and it didn't seem to matter to him that Blaine had apologized for stepping in and taking his role the first time they met, or that he was working just as hard as Jesse was. He held a grudge better than Sebastian could, and Blaine shuddered when he tried to imagine what the two of them combined could manage to control if they ever decided to join forces.

Occasionally, Rachel would seem to forget that she was intent on hating him, a small smile or laugh bursting out of her before she realized who she was with and quickly returned to her stony silence and ignoring him even more than before, but he had hope that before long he might be able to at least break her façade. He was beginning to feel a little too comfortable with his role of Phantom, wondering how much neglect could come his way before he, too, decided to hide underneath some theater to stay away from civilization, but he thought maybe if he had Rachel on his side, the rest of the cast might not hate him too.

The irony was not lost on him at all.

Mike and Sugar were the only two who seemed to latch onto him without pressure from Jesse and Rachel, though Blaine was certain Sugar's attachment was due to Cooper more so than to Blaine himself. Mike, however, was proving to be a great friend even if only a few days had passed since his first day on stage.

"Watch out for Rachel when she hasn't had her coffee in the morning," Mike muttered one day as Rachel yelled at someone for stepping on her toes, Blaine fighting off a smirk as the poor girl cowered underneath Rachel's glare. "And whatever you do, do not ask Sugar if she wants to join you for your small breaks."

Blaine, unfortunately, didn't have an option in that one, he discovered. She found him and Cooper sitting in the hallway of the theater one day, Cooper explaining the theme of his new album while Blaine pulled apart his sandwich and tried to eat it, nerves frayed from dealing with a hostile Jesse all morning. She didn't even bother to pretend not to stare as she walked by once, twice, three times before Blaine finally asked if she wanted to join them, her nod emphatic as she sat down on the floor across from them, stealing Blaine's chips without asking.

"What are we talking about?" she asked, the first time Blaine could recall her asking about someone else without mentioning herself first, though he figured that might just be because of Cooper.

"I was telling Blaine about my new album," Cooper grinned, Sugar's eyes widening and her mouth dropping open for a statement Blaine was sure no one was prepared for when Rachel's voice called out down the hall, a snippy 'Blaine, we need to go over the _Phantom _scene,' with her hands on her hips, Blaine sighing heavily as he shrugged.

"Back to business," he told them, Sugar waving and Cooper doing the same before they continued on with their own conversation, Sugar clearly not needing him as a backup anymore now that she had her in to Cooper.

He should have been grateful for Sugar's nonchalance towards Jesse's wrath, to have someone on his side, but every time Cooper showed up to 'show his support', the two would disappear in a fit of giggles and ego that Blaine didn't think he could stomach being around for too long. Instead, he turned to Mike, trying to find out more and more about the cast so that he could figure out a way to get them _all _to like him.

"The main thing you need to know is that Rachel and Jesse run this show," Mike said with a sigh one day. "The rest fall behind like ducklings to their mother, never straying too far out of the heard. When one of them does-" he shook his head with wide eyes to symbolize horror. "They go in for the kill. It's less terrifying to see lions stalk innocent zebra's, or something."

"That was like, four different animal analogies in one," Blaine grinned, Mike letting out a hearty laugh in return.

"The point is, they're king and queen, and until they feel like you're not trying to take away their roles, they're going to continue to feel threatened and keep the rest in check."

Blaine frowned at that, looking up at where the rest of his cast mates were running through one of the scenes that he wasn't needed for, watching as Rachel and Jesse interacted. "When you say they're king and queen," he questioned a moment later, his voice a little more hushed, "how exactly do you mean?"

Mike hesitated for a moment, looking up at where Blaine's eyes were focused. "I'm not exactly where they stand presently," he explained, "but I believe they're dating again. They tend to be on and off every other week, but they've been smiling at each other in between scenes, so they can't hate each other right now."

"How long have they been dating?" Blaine wasn't even sure why he was curious, maybe just to see what he was up against, he supposed, and Mike let out another low chuckle.

"Consecutively it'd probably add up to be about a year and a half, but they've known each other for almost three now. I guess they met right after college, or something. I didn't meet them until we all got hired here for the company."

Blaine just nodded in response, unsure of how that made him feel. On one hand, he could wait until what was probably an inevitable explosion for Rachel to team up on his side, but on the other this could be the time it stuck for them, leaving Blaine unable to find his in with the cast, leaving him completely ostracized with no hope of ever being let in.

It was an unsettling feeling, and when Mike left him to go fix some of the errors the actors on stage were making, Blaine tried to figure out what the hell to do next.

* * *

"Things any better on stage, champ?" Sebastian asked as he leaned against the bar, Blaine shaking his head 'no' in response. Despite their work relationship, Sebastian had come to be one of Blaine's few friends, and in a desperate need for any sort of human contact he'd asked him to hang out for the evening, Sebastian shrugging and agreeing before dragging him to what Blaine suspected was _definitely _a gay bar, if the massive influx of men walking around tipped him off.

"Everyone still hates me," Blaine replied with a grimace, ordering two beers for his manager and himself. "Though today Rachel may have actually complimented my performance, so maybe there's hope yet."

Sebastian took the bottle of beer Blaine handed him with a raised eyebrow, Blaine's own narrowed in confusion as he inquired about the look. "You talk about this Rachel girl a lot," Sebastian shrugged.

"She is my co-star," Blaine pointed out, feeling flustered for no real reason.

"And how many people hook up with their co-stars on a regular basis?" Sebastian interjected, Blaine shaking his head 'no', because it wasn't like that. Rachel was talented, sure, and gorgeous, yes, but she was with Jesse, or somehow tied to him, and Blaine was lucky if she didn't tell him to 'fuck off' for existing if he thought too hard about it.

"She has a boyfriend," Blaine decided to use as his reasoning, Sebastian snorting as his eyes trailed a guy who had to be at least 5 years their junior.

"More publicity. '_Anderson swoops Berry off her feet, leaves St. James behind!_' The press would love it," Sebastian grinned.

"I'm not going to hit on her just so you can get your headlines," Blaine replied seriously. "Besides, I barely _know _her."

"Get to," Sebastian demanded, Blaine just shaking his head in response.

"Even if I do, it's not going to be for that. I don't need a girlfriend, Sebastian," Blaine pointed out, but Sebastian waved him off, clearly over the same excuses Blaine had been supplying for a year and a half. _I don't need to date someone, Seb, it's not going to make a difference in record sales if I do or not. Why can't I just be on my own until I find someone myself, why are you trying to set up these dates with girls who are clearly not my type, I don't give a damn about PR! _ The words had come out more often than Blaine would have liked, as Cooper dated his way through socialites and B-list actresses, but Blaine wanted more than that. It wasn't even that he didn't want anyone, it's just that they couldn't be just _anyone_. And so far, the girls Cooper and Sebastian tried to throw at him-they weren't anyone.

"Yes, yes, I know," Sebastian waved off, bored with the conversation. "I'll let nature run its course."

"What's _that _supposed to mean?" Blaine asked, slightly confused but Sebastian just flashed him one of his signature smirks before shaking his head, refusing to elaborate.

"Don't worry about it, Blaine-y boy. You'll figure it out soon enough." Blaine huffed indignantly, Sebastian whispering something under his breath before sliding off his barstool. "You may not need to get laid, but I do, so if you'll excuse me," he grinned, leaving Blaine to fend for himself at the bar alone.

Blaine definitely needed to find some new friends.

* * *

Working with a hangover was never fun, but Blaine had still shown up at the theater at 8am the next day, ready to run through the finale for the next twelve to fourteen hours. He was exhausted just at the idea, the coffee Cooper had made that morning before Blaine disappeared not nearly as strong as he would have liked, but there was still only six weeks before opening night, and Blaine couldn't allow himself to slack if he wanted his role to be perfect.

Rachel was chipper as ever, babbling on about some function she and Sugar had attended the night before while Jesse interjected comments until their director, Artie, rolled over in his wheelchair and snapped them all to attention. He made a few short announcements before telling them to get into places for the scene, Blaine lumbering to his mark and passing Jesse on his way, ignoring the rude remark made under the others breath surely directed at no one but him.

Blaine was getting tired of it, but there was nothing he could do except give the rehearsal his all, just as he had every day for the past week and a half and would until their run on the stage was over, keeping in character even as Jesse continued to make snide remarks off to the side every once in a while. He knew Jesse was waiting for him to break, to snap and storm out and tell him he could take his precious little role back, and Blaine also knew he wasn't so weak as to give in and give Jesse the satisfaction.

It was halfway through the day when he heard it, a simple "Stop!" out of Rachel's mouth that wasn't any part of Christine's lines, and out of the corner of his eye he could see her glaring at Jesse, his face set in stone as he shut up in response to Rachel's request. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, didn't want to assume it was for his benefit, but she shot Blaine a glance that was far kinder than any he'd seen yet, the words 'I'm sorry', being mouthed in his direction, and he could only smile and shrug in response as he turned back into his role.

It was a small thing, he knew, but victories had to be taken when they were given. If Rachel stood up for him once, she might even do so again. If it meant waiting, he'd be content to do so, a flicker of hope returning as she smiled at him on their water break. She'd come around soon, he knew it, and it was with that knowledge that he could smile back easily in her direction, not needing anything more for the moment.

* * *

He was running through _Music of the Night _in one of the dance studios on his own late the next night, if only to escape another round of Sebastian's relentless mocking if he agreed to going out with him for the evening. Cooper was no better with his genuine curiosity on the subject of Rachel, thoughts Blaine hadn't really made sense of himself even if his mind did wander to her, especially when he rehearsed on his own like he was now. As if on cue, she appeared at the doorway, startling him out of his rehearsal.

"I heard you," she said by way of explanation, her voice small and her eyes focused on where her hands were clenched tightly around each other. "And I owe you an apology."

"For what?" Blaine asked calmly as he moved towards the radio to turn off the music he was using for his rehearsal.

"For everything," she admitted, stepping closer to him. "For the way I've been treating you, for how the whole cast has been, really. It's-"

"It's fine, Rachel," Blaine said as he tried to wave it away, but she shook her head with a sad expression.

"It's not, Blaine." He quieted down, crossing his arms over his chest as she chewed on her lip, seemingly nervous for the first time since he'd met her. "When you first got here, Jesse went a little crazy-he threatened to quit, and to leave, and that was his own issues that he should be talking to you about. If I know him, he won't, but-"

"I know you and Jesse are a thing," Blaine interrupted with a heavy sigh, "but did you have to hate me just because he did?"

"I didn't! I don't hate you, Blaine and that's why I'm trying to explain myself!" she shot back, a little defensively, but she seemed to calm down after a second with a shake of her head as if she wiped her mind clean. "It was wrong of me to lash out at you, that first day, but no, that wasn't the only reason I was upset with you."

"You didn't even know me," Blaine countered. "You still don't, because you won't give me a chance."

"You're right," she nodded in agreement, surprising Blaine enough that he let her take one of his hands without thinking about what they were doing. "I blocked you out, and it was wrong. It was my own insecurities screaming their ugly head at me, and because of that there's been a strain between us. It's not only hindering our performance and talents, but a potential friendship as well."

"Why would you be insecure about me getting a role?" he asked, curious, and she flushed pink as she looked away from him again, chewing so harshly on her lip he was sure she'd draw blood before too long.

"When I got this role, it was the single happiest day of my life. It was my big break, the thing that would finally put me on the map. Christine was never a role I was truly passionate about, but I was given a shot and I intended to give it my entire being. After all, there were going to be audience members there for me, paying hundreds of dollars to see _me_ on that stage and-it was a wonderful feeling, Blaine." He nodded in response, guilt and acceptance weighing equally in the pit of his stomach, because he didn't even need her to continue to know where her resentment played from. The audience wouldn't be filled with respectful play goers anymore, apprehensive but excited to see the new talent Rachel Berry play the ingénue perfectly on stage. There would be teenagers, hoards of them, who had never heard of _Phantom _or cared deeply about the musical at all, filling up seats to see him, not her.

"And I took that from you," he said quietly, not able to quite look at her as she nodded. "I'm sorry," he finally said, but she just let out a small laugh and shook her head.

"No, you don't have to be sorry, Blaine. I can see now that what you said on that first day is true, and you've more than proven yourself, not that you needed to. You're just as dedicated to this show as I am, and that's the important thing. Besides, even if there are more there for you, they still have to see me, right?" she asked with a smile, Blaine laughing as he nodded.

"And when they come back a second time, I can assure you it'll be for Christine, not the Phantom," Blaine teased gently, Rachel's smile widening and as she moved forward to hug him, her small frame seemingly larger than life as she encompassed him, and he finally felt rooted, like he could really do this and in the end, that everything would come together as it should.


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n: **a general reminder that kira is forever the best for putting up with my insanity while i write, and that she helps me every step of the way. also, reviews=a happy ashley, which=more fic. just an fyi.

* * *

Rachel felt like she was constantly on the losing side of a battle she hadn't willingly entered. As her relationship with Blaine improved, things with Jesse became even more strained than they normally were. She felt like the three of them were some sort of scale, Jesse on one side of her and Blaine on the other, and whenever one went up the other went down, never able to even out completely. It was exhausting, trying to keep track of what her emotions were doing, who she was apologizing to and why she was apologizing in the first place.

It had never been like this, before. Jesse had disliked people, of course, but never quite as strongly as he detested Blaine Anderson. Blaine, for his part, did his best to stay out of Jesse's way and not rile him up more. But it didn't seem to matter to Jesse that Blaine was working his ass off just as much as everyone else was to portray his character perfectly, that he was often leaving as late as Rachel was and arriving just as early as she did. Jesse was set on hating him though, regardless of any evidence pointing to the fact that Blaine was a decent guy.

And he was, Rachel was learning. He had an almost dry wit to him that had her bursting into laughter more often than not, a small smile on his lips whenever she did. He put an incredible amount of effort into his work, so much so that Rachel almost found herself glad that he was her Phantom instead of Jesse. They had a chemistry on stage that flowed naturally between them, avid discussions were had about their characters and how they would play out certain scenes as they sat backstage while others were going through their own, vocal training much easier to get through as they made faces at one another as they sang. It was simple to be around him, now that she wasn't intent on hating him for Jesse's sake. She could leave behind the fact that this was _Blaine Anderson_, _Superstar _and started to see him as Blaine, her costar and friend and it made both of them more comfortable to be around each other.

But regardless of how simple and easy things flowed with Blaine, they seemed to come to a complete halt with Jesse. Every time she tried to talk to him around the theater, he immediately shut down and shut her out, especially if Blaine was around. He'd stalk off, muttering about rehearsing for Raoul, always said with such disdain it made her shudder. She knew he was upset, but it was beginning to seem like he was upset about more than the role, and despite how often she tried to point out that this was still a golden opportunity for him, he refused to become civilized towards Blaine.

She tried to focus on the good, on her growing friendship with Blaine and all that that entailed, instead of dwelling on her faltering relationship with Jesse-one she wasn't even sure was still viable, though he still referred to her as his girlfriend when she overheard him talking to Mike, so she had that going for her.

Still, she had yet to actually spend time with Blaine outside of the theater, and while it was a terrifying prospect in its own right-in their theater, he could be 'Blaine' all he wanted, but the swarm of girls that waited all day long outside those doors reminded her every night that he was, indeed, still Blaine Anderson to the rest of the world-she knew that in order for them to really be friends, they had to go into the real world together.

He had laughed when she inquired about his plans for the evening, long and hard and by the time he straightened up from his completely unnecessary reaction to her awkward shyness about the situation, he grinned and invited her over.

"Your apartment isn't exactly the real world," she reminded him, and he grimaced slightly in response.

"No, but unless you want to spend time with me and a hundred teenage girls, it's about as real world we can get," he reminded her, a sadness lurking behind his eyes that she wanted to make disappear. She nodded in agreement after that, the two making plans to meet up before they were to depart for the day, Rachel's stomach rolling with nerves she couldn't quite place every time she remembered their plans.

She was ready promptly at seven, just like they had planned, Blaine meeting her at the back door where a car was ready to whisk them across town towards his apartment on the upper west side, zooming past Central Park while they chatted amicably. She should have found it ridiculous to be in a town car that seemed completely unnecessary just to travel 30 blocks uptown, but there was a small part of her that felt almost famous by association that reveled in the thrill of it all.

"I have no idea if Cooper is around," Blaine told her once they arrived in front of a tall building she'd passed hundreds of times but never put thought into, "but even if he is-"

"You live with Cooper?" she asked, genuinely curious. She hadn't heard him talk too much about his brother to anyone, aside from Sugar, and she had to admit she was intrigued.

He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck as he nodded. "It was just easier, at the time, when we first moved here. Sebastian found us a decent sized place that we liked, and it didn't seem like a big deal."

"It's cute," Rachel smiled, Blaine raising an eyebrow in her direction as he led her to the elevator towards the top floor, a blush crawling over her skin once her words hit her. "Or not-cute, okay that was the wrong term, but-endearing?"

He chuckled a little at that, Rachel sighing quietly at herself. It had been so long since she made a fool of herself in front of him and she wasn't sure why she was starting to again, trying to remember that this was the same guy who just yesterday had walked around the theater for three hours talking in a British accent and wearing his Phantom mask 'out of boredom' between his own rehearsals. She calmed down a little after that, listening as he continued to prattle on about living with Cooper and explaining that while they had a maid, the place may have still been a mess if Cooper was around at all during the afternoon.

It turned out to be a lie, the apartment immaculate as she stepped inside after him, the central air cooling her down from the heat that was flowing in from the wide windows overlooking the park, the space much larger than her own apartment downtown with Sugar with its high ceilings and bright décor. "It's lovely," she told him honestly, turning to where he was watching her examine his apartment, about to question him on exactly what he was looking for when Cooper appeared in a rush of cologne and speaking twice as fast as she was used to hearing him in interviews.

"Cooper," Blaine tried to interrupt as the other went into a speech that didn't really seem to have any substance except to hear himself talk as he tied his tie, not noticing Rachel. Blaine shot her a sympathetic glance, a smirk returned towards him as he once again tried to shut Cooper up. "Cooper!"

"What?" he asked, looking at the two of them for the first time and breaking into a bright smile as he noticed Rachel. "Ah! The stunning young talent portraying Christine, I must imagine?" he asked, Rachel giggling despite herself as he leaned forward to kiss her hand, Blaine muttering something quietly under his breath. "I've heard all about you."

"You have?" she asked, raising an eyebrow towards Blaine in question. They'd only been on speaking terms for about a week, so anything Cooper might have heard couldn't possibly have been all that complimentary, and while Blaine flushed red, Cooper shook his head.

"Not from Blaine, he's usually too busy rehearsing to speak to me these days," Cooper grinned. "From your roommate, Sugar."

"You've been talking to Sugar?" she inquired, wondering how it was she'd gone without hearing every detail over and over into the late hours of the night.

"I've been-yes, she's a wonderful girl," Cooper stuttered, Blaine narrowing his eyes in his brothers direction.

"I don't think I've heard you say anything was 'wonderful' since the night our song topped the charts," Blaine accused, Rachel watching the two brothers silently. Cooper shifted awkwardly on his feet, sputtering out things that sounded like half-truths, Blaine smirking after a moment. "You're sleeping with her."

"No!" Cooper almost yelled, shooting a glance towards Rachel before shaking his head in Blaine's direction again. "I would never sleep with a fan, that's not-"

"Then you're dating her," Blaine edited, staring towards the ceiling for a moment. "Which would explain why you've been mysteriously absent for the past week and a half whenever I try and call you."

"Now that I think about it, Sugar has been mysteriously quiet lately," Rachel interjected, Cooper's face falling momentarily before he seemed to control himself again.

"We're trying to keep it out of the press," he finally caved, practically whispering. "I don't want those girls going after her, and she doesn't think her dad will fully approve of her going out with a pop star."

"Mr. Motta likes anything Sugar does," Rachel promised him, "just-don't do anything to hurt her. We're not entirely positive if he is or isn't in the mob."

Cooper looked a little panicked at that, but his phone went off a moment later and Blaine just shook his head, turning his attention back to Rachel. "Hungry?" he asked, and Rachel nodded, realizing that she was starving as she did so. "We could order in, though I think there might _actually _be food in the house to cook, if you'd prefer."

"That sounds fun," Rachel smiled. "I can't remember the last time I ate something I helped prepare."

"It's a weird novelty, isn't it?" Blaine agreed, leading her into the kitchen as Cooper darted out the front door with a shout. They went through cabinets much taller than either were before she was chopping vegetables, Blaine preferring a vegan stir-fry and pouring them each a large glass of wine, music playing quietly in the background.

She focused on it for a moment, smiling a little as Blaine sung quietly along under his breath. "Is this _disco_?" she asked incredulously, Blaine nodding without shame.

"When we were little," Blaine explained, turning on the stove, "Cooper and I insisted we listen to music as we ate dinner. Our parents didn't mind, it kept us well behaved, but they often just left it on the oldies station-which played a lot of disco. It's one of my favorite genres now," he grinned before bursting into a falsetto to sing along, Rachel laughing in response before joining in with him.

It wasn't long before their cooking was neglected, Blaine spinning her around the kitchen with ease as they sang along to one another, Rachel giggling the entire time as he dipped her with a dramatic flourish before pulling her back up, and it took her a moment to steady herself when she realized his face was only a few inches from her own.

She had to physically pull herself away from him for a moment, claiming the wine had rushed to her system as she smiled at him, but she had a feeling that the fluttering in her stomach had absolutely nothing to do with the alcohol they were ingesting, and everything to do with just how attached she was rapidly becoming to him, despite her efforts to ignore anything of the sort.

* * *

She left Blaine's several hours later, tipsy from too much wine and smiling a bit too large as he made sure she got into a cab safely, kissing the corner of his mouth as she slid inside. His own smile seemed a little more strained after that, but she didn't place too much thought into it as she was sped across Manhattan.

They'd spent the entire evening laughing and joking and, if she _did _place too much thought into it, they were probably a little more flirty than she should have been, considering she was still dating Jesse. But he had made her feel like there wasn't anything to worry about for once, and as they had tossed grilled vegetables towards one another she was reminded of a time in college when she had _fun_, something she realized had been missing in the recent months.

Still, it wasn't until she tip toed past her living room and went into her bedroom that the guilt overtook her, Jesse sitting on her bed reading a book in the dim light of a lamp on her bedside table. She tried to remind herself that there wasn't anything _to _be guilty about, but it didn't help settle her any. "What are you doing here?" she asked, trying to keep the slur out of her voice as Jesse put the book down, taking in her appearance. She wondered what he thought happened, her hair messy from spending half the night dancing, her dress wrinkled from when Blaine had decided to give her a tour of the apartment by piggy back.

"I was hoping to spend time with you," Jesse replied evenly, though his face was anything but impartial. It showed the slight betrayal he felt , and she knew he knew where she had been. "Clearly, I was alone in that desire."

"Of course you weren't," she rushed, though her feet remained rooted to the ground. "I was just-"

"Making good with Blaine, I heard," Jesse retorted, his tone harsh and cold and it sunk deep in her bones, causing her to shudder despite the warm end of summer air.

"We're friends," she told him, keeping her own voice as even as possible.

"And you're drunk," Jesse snapped, standing up off her bed and finding his way towards her. "With your hair all mussed and your lip stick messed up?"

"We were drinking, yes," she told him, keeping her voice steady, "but we were getting to know one another. I would have invited you with us, had you not been so hell-bent on hating him!"

"Why do you need to get to know him, Rachel?" Jesse yelled, Rachel flinching slightly at the sudden sound reverberating throughout her room. "You don't spend this much time with Finn, or Tina!"

"They're not my co-stars!" She defended, her voice raising if only to be overheard.

"Bullshit!" Jesse yelled, storming past her and she debated on letting him go for half a second before she gave in and followed him to the living room, grabbing his arm and trying to stop him from leaving.

"Why are you so upset, Jesse? I go out drinking with Kurt and Sugar all the time! How is this any different?"

"They're not celebrities that you've once fantasied about," he hissed, her face falling open at the accusation.

"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest and trying to hide the flush of embarrassment at the truth. "Blaine is a person, Jesse, one that you might even get along with if you got over yourself and gave him a chance!"

"Why would I give him a chance when he's taking everything away from me?" Jesse shot back, shaking his head. "He stole my role, Rachel, or did you forget about that the second he flashed you his toothpaste ad smile?"

"Of course I didn't forget that, but maybe you seem to have been a bit biased over the past couple weeks! He's working just as hard as you are, just as hard as I am!"

"So he's already won you over, has he?" he sneered, crossing his own arms over his chest. "How long do I have before I lose you to him, too?"

"You're not going to lose me to him!" she cried out in frustration, fighting the urge to tear her own hair out. "He is a _friend_, Jesse, and a co-star, and it wouldn't kill you to accept him into our group!"

Jesse didn't say another word, instead choosing to storm out of the apartment and leaving Rachel behind to stew in a doom of her own making. She couldn't entirely blame Jesse, not when his accusations hit a little too close to home. But Blaine was still just her co-star, still only ever to be a friend and nothing more. She wouldn't allow herself to fall for him, she told herself, because that would only lead down a road that she'd never really recover from. The expectations she'd hold for him from her days of seeing him as only a celebrity and nothing more would end up breaking them, and she'd end up with no one. Jesse was her safety, her home, her love. She wouldn't fuck things up so badly with him that they would burn to the ground, and if it meant crawling to him in apology first thing in the morning, she'd have to do so.

She resigned herself to that fate, to apologizing for things she wasn't entirely sure were her fault in the first place, turning to head towards her shower, only to see Sugar and Cooper standing outside of Sugar's bedroom door, both staring at her, and she realized with shame that they had overheard the argument she'd just had with Jesse. "Please don't say anything," was all she managed before running towards her bathroom, praying that news wouldn't spread amongst the cast members-to Blaine, of all people-the subject of her and Jesse's latest altercation.


	5. Chapter 5

He wasn't used to being thrown off. Fans would come up to him in the streets, throw their arms around him and he'd have to smile and nod politely while signing whatever they could find and try and find a way to get free from them as soon as possible. Sebastian practically manhandled him every chance he got, and Cooper had always been more than affectionate enough.

He'd even watched as Rachel was more than cuddly enough with half their cast, curling up in Jesse's lap between scenes or kissing various cast members on the cheek on her way out the door. She'd kept a relative distance towards Blaine, at most a hug or squeezing his hand but the kiss-it wasn't even a kiss, he tried to tell himself, because it wasn't really. She had to have been aiming for his cheek, and in their drunken stupidity it had somehow landed on the corner of his mouth.

Still, it had given him pause, causing him to stand on the sidewalk and watch as her cab migrated into traffic and became lost in the crowd of cars exactly the same, trying to figure out exactly what had happened. A week ago, she had hated him, and now she was kissing him goodbye.

It wouldn't have given him more than a moments worth to think about, if it hadn't been for the jolt of electricity that seemed to crash over him at the touch, and he feared for what this meant for them. They were going to have to kiss for the musical, he knew, and it wouldn't do good for him to get lose in a haze of teenage lust from just one small moment, and so he tried to steel himself against it as best he could. They didn't talk about the moment the next morning at work, both tired and hung over, but Blaine couldn't help but notice that Jesse was avoiding Rachel like the plague as they ran through rehearsals. The last thing he needed was for Jesse to be even more pissed at him, even if he hadn't done anything in particular.

She acted perfectly normal towards him, or their new normal at least, the two having found an easy give and take with the other as they got closer and closer to opening night. It was still a few weeks away, but things were getting kicked into high gear, running through the show in its entirety with no breaks, and it would have been the perfect thing to get the incident off his brain.

If he didn't have to kiss her in front of everyone watching.

If she felt the same thing he did, she was much better at covering it up, the dazed look he was sure covered his own face not appearing on her own as they moved through the rest of the scene, Blaine trying to remember that there was a key fact he had to keep in check: any kissing they were doing was between the Phantom and Christine, not Blaine and Rachel.

He just couldn't figure out why he wanted to change that.

Blaine knew he had to talk to _someone _about it, and while he would have normally turned to Cooper or Sebastian, he vetoed both quickly. Neither knew Rachel well enough to give him a good read on her, and Sebastian would push for him to act on something he wasn't even sure was there, while Cooper would have just told him to go for it because she was attractive. That left Mike or Sugar, and he didn't know which one was a safer option.

He was leaning towards Mike, if only for his ability to keep his mouth shut, when he stumbled upon both sitting in an empty dance room, Sugar laying on the floor and moaning about something or other. "Blaine!" Mike exclaimed, interrupting the girl, and Blaine had to fight off the laugh at the sight of pure relief washing over Mike's expression.

"Hi Blaine-y boo!" Sugar cooed from her spot, rolling over to sit indian style in the center of the room.

"Hi Sugar," he greeted with a smile before turning towards Mike. "I really need a second opinion on something," he said without preamble, "and was wondering if you could help?"

"Is it about the sort of super lame side-kiss from Rachel the other day?" Sugar called out, both boys turning their heads to look at her while she played with her hair, oblivious. "Because Mike doesn't know anything about that."

"I-how do you know about that?" Blaine asked, curiosity spiked even as the answer lay obvious before she could say it.

"There was something like, way off about her fight with Jesse. And I find out everything anyways," Sugar replied in an easy voice, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, like Blaine should have just _known _that Rachel would have told her. He supposed if she was going to tell anyone, it would have been Sugar-they were roommates, after all, and from the way he'd seen the two of them interact they had to have been best friends. But for something that he was trying so hard to convince himself meant nothing, it startled him to hear that she'd mentioned it.

"She kissed you?" Mike said, interrupting Blaine's thoughts, and he could only do some sort of half-shrug.

"We were hanging out, to get to know one another and when I made sure she got into a cab safely, she kind of," Blaine flushed pink at how stupid the words were, but pushed forward regardless, "she kissed the corner of my mouth?"

"She was like, totally hammered off wine," Sugar interjected, and Mike nodded in response.

"Well then it was probably just the alcohol," Mike said, though his eyes seemed concentrated on reading Blaine's every facial expression. "She's a notoriously handsy drunk, after all," he continued, but his voice was low and cautious, and it made Blaine uneasy that he could be so easily read by people he still barely knew.

"God, I've made out with Rachel like, 12 times already. This year," Sugar announced as if it was an important fact, and Blaine could only laugh, glad Sugar seemed oblivious to the tension he was feeling.

"She's right," Mike agreed, "Rachel will kiss anything that moves if you give her enough alcohol. There's probably not a person in this building she hasn't."

"So it didn't mean anything?" Blaine pressed, just to make sure, and Mike nodded while Sugar agreed with an emphatic 'yes!' from her spot. "Good," he said, although he wasn't entirely sure he meant it.

By the repeated "Good," from Mike, Blaine could tell he wasn't fooling him anymore than he was himself.

* * *

He tried his best to push it from memory, to not let it phase him, but it wasn't until he saw Jesse and Rachel back on good terms that he finally relaxed again. Clearly, if she had meant anything more than a drunken camaraderie behind the motion, she wouldn't have run back into Jesse's arms, laughing as he spun her around the stage at some news she hadn't bothered to share with Blaine.

Maybe it was better that way, he mused, for them to be friends but not necessarily close ones. She had pulled back, slightly, after that night, but he thought it might be more for Jesse's benefit than any of her own doing. He couldn't entirely blame her, with the opening night drawing nearer and nearer, it was imperative to keep the peace amongst the cast as best they could. Nerves were already flaring and stress was running high in the group, there was no need to add personal problems into the mix.

They'd finally been deemed ready from vocal training, April congratulating them both with a giant hug that collided the three of them together, and Blaine couldn't help but feel like for such a small woman, she was incredibly overpowering. He'd thanked her, profusely, for all her help, Rachel doing the same before they left, and it was with a giggle that Rachel had hugged Blaine in her euphoria, rattling on about how this was her final testament, that she had rightfully earned this, that she was going to be the _best _Christine on that stage.

He couldn't help but agree.

Rehearsals ran even longer than before, costumes were fitted perfectly, and songs were nailed down to perfection. The final few weeks went by in such a rush that Blaine didn't even have time to breathe, much less worry about anything else. Jesse was still distant, though he seemed to stop his constant running commentary on the various ways in which Blaine was a horrible human being, and Blaine had a feeling Rachel was the cause of that. Rachel, herself, never looked happier than she did when she was performing. Even when Christine was supposed to be distressed, Rachel managed to pull it off flawlessly with a hidden gleam in her eyes that the audience couldn't see, the excitement getting to her more than any amount of nerves could.

His own mood varied on the time he got to spend sleeping, which wasn't often. Even when he managed to get home for a few hours of well-deserved shut eye, Cooper and Sugar were usually prancing around the apartment. Sugar seemed to have made herself right at home these days in their attempt to keep their relationship out of the press, meaning that Blaine had little reprieve from her. He would have pointed out that it was all for naught, as they kept frequenting high class restaurants on their outings, but they were happy, and who was he to stop them from that.

He tried to stay as chipper and upbeat as she did, but the truth was he was already exhausted. He made sure it stayed out of his performance, knew that she would inform him if he started to slip, that on the nights they'd been there for nearly 15 hours she often did before asking if they could just give up for the night. Jesse would usually send a smirk in his direction at that, but he tried his best to ignore that-the bags under Jesse's eyes said he was just as exhausted as Blaine was, even if he wasn't willing to admit it.

The day they were set to open, Rachel nearly had an anxiety attack, flinging herself into Blaine's dressing room and yelling about how he was going to flub his lines. He promised her he wouldn't dream of it, tried to get her to calm down, but she couldn't seem to remember that breathing was vital. By the time he got her calmed down, a bottle of water and endless reassurances that she was the best girl for this role later, there was only enough time to get into costume and make up, a small 'thank you' headed his way as she ran out the door.

The show went off without a hitch, everyone landing their role perfectly, and even Jesse shot him a smile when all was said and done, smiles wide on everyone's faces as they mingled backstage after the final curtain. He didn't even think anything of grabbing Rachel and hugging her, telling her she was a sensational Christine, that the reviewers were going to be blown away from her performance, and she beamed up at him before linking hands and demanding that they exit the stage door together, that they-more than anyone else-were the stars, and they should meet the fans as a team.

He hadn't expected the response so immediately when they hit outside, the last two out of the building-"Saving the best for last," his bodyguard, Puckerman, told them with a wink in Rachel's direction. There were girls actually crying, Blaine feeling a little overwhelmed whereas Rachel seemed to come into her own in the moment. He'd never been able to figure out exactly how to deal with his fame and success, but she seemed to step into it naturally, and as they signed playbills side by side, both of them receiving endless streams of compliments on the performance, he could swear she was on the brink of happy tears.

"How did you manage that?" he asked when they slid into the black SUV waiting to cart them to the cast party being held across town, everyone else already on their way.

"Manage what?" she asked, her smile still in place as she watched the city pass them by, Blaine shaking his head.

"You just-you seemed so natural at dealing with all those fans and-"

"It's not hard, Blaine," she said softly, and while anyone else would have mocked him for this-honestly, he wanted to mock himself, he'd had almost three years of experience to push him through, but he still questioned if he was doing everything right-she didn't. "They want a moment of your time, some recognition that they're appreciated. Exactly what we want, really," she said with a shrug, and Blaine had to admire the ease with which she seemed to fit into this world.

They didn't talk much after that, Rachel still humming quietly under her breath as they reached the building holding the loft and the party with everyone else upstairs, the rush of the night starting to wear off slightly until they walked into a room full of cast, crew, friends and family-Cooper and Sugar, he could see, were over by the drinks in an intense conversation that he couldn't even begin to imagine what it'd have been about-everyone cheering the second they walked in.

He felt a blush crawl over his features but Rachel merely beamed, soaking up the praise and recognition she had been wanting for what was probably her whole life. Jesse stood on a chair, clinking a fork to his champagne glass and the music seemed to lower automatically as everyone turned their attention to him, Blaine and Rachel hardly the exceptions.

"I'd like to propose a toast," he started, and Blaine didn't know why he was holding his breath for Jesse to mention his name when he knew it was a lost cause, but he did so anyways. "To Rachel, the next biggest Broadway star, the one who made this play what it was-those sold out seats tonight were for you, Rach, and they'll keep coming back to see you again and again," he promised, Rachel squealing in delight before running over to her boyfriend and pulling him off the chair to kiss him grandly, Blaine squirming uncomfortably at the sight.

It was the fact that he was underappreciated for his contribution, he decided after a glass of champagne as he sat on one of the couches listening to Mike and Puck discuss the merits of Brooklyn life. That after all the work he had put in, Jesse still only noticed Rachel's efforts. Not that she didn't deserve the praise, and had Blaine ben given the opportunity he might have made a similar speech-how they would have never gotten through the past seven weeks of rehearsing without her, how no other girl could have brought Christine to life quite like she did, how she was destined for bigger and better things whenever she abandoned their cast. But it gnawed at him inside, that the two of them still didn't see him as equal to their talent, when he thought he had more than proven himself.

After drinks two and three, people started coming over and congratulating him as well, letting him know that he had far outshone their expectations, that he was definitely pulling his weight, that he was just as good as the other two-if not more so, for the fact that he was humble about it, not throwing his talent in everyone's faces as they often did. He felt a little better after that, the alcohol buzzing through his system and making him happier and he even let a few of the girls pull him onto the make shift dance floor they'd formed, laughing as Sugar demanded he dip her as they swayed across the floor during a slower song.

It wasn't until Rachel ended up in his arms, somehow, that he remembered the insecurities and they came back to nag at him full force as she looked up at him with an innocent smile, clearly inebriated herself. He thought of the last time they were both drunk like this, when she had kissed the corner of his mouth, and wondered if she'd try something like that again.

"You were amazing tonight," she told him, interrupting his thoughts and he couldn't do anything but shake his head and smile, the words more than enough for him for now. The simple acknowledgment that she claimed others wanted from them all he needed from her, even as he spun her around to a more upbeat song.

"I couldn't have done it without you," he assured her, her grin spreading wide across her face as she laughed in response.

"Nor I without you," she responded, her arms hooking around his neck. He let himself be pulled into her, despite the alarms going off in his head to pull away, to spin her over to where Jesse hovered at the edge of the group of dancers talking to Mike. But then she was murmuring about how glad she was that he had performed as well as he did, her breath tickling his skin as she placed a small kiss on his cheek, and he hoped she'd leave it at that.

She didn't, however, and he couldn't bring himself to push her away when her lips brushed over his, lightly, his eyes closing as his grip around her waist tightened slightly, only seeming to further her actions. He tried not to actively kiss her back, but it was hard-they were going to have to do this every night on stage, after all, and all his instincts screamed to further things, to grab onto her and never come up for air-but reality seemed to snap into him with a squeal that was undoubtedly from Sugar, his mouth parting from hers just barely.

She giggled a little before kissing his cheek again and wiggling out of his arms, linking arms with a passing Mike and discussing how she needed to work harder at one of the moves she couldn't quite get down, Blaine left chewing on his lip and still tasting her on it as his eyes met with Jesse's, the guilt worming its way into his stomach before he could find a way to block it out.

He tried to get out of the party as quickly as possible after that, wanted to avoid a confrontation with Jesse. He didn't know what to tell him, other than the truth-but he didn't even know what the truth was. _Apparently, when we drink, we kiss? _It was the lamest excuse he'd ever voice, and as he stepped outside to try and find a cab and go home, he knew it was the only one he really had up his arsenal.

Jesse came outside a moment later, his voice sharp as he called out Blaine's name, and Blaine felt his nerves tighten as he turned around.

"Hi," Blaine said, because he didn't know what else to say-Jesse had seen them, and innocent kiss or not, he was still the one dating Rachel and it had to have pissed him off.

"Stay away from her," he seethed without bothering with any sort of other opener, Blaine opening his eyes wide as he took in Jesse's clenched fists, the anger that he was so used to seeing towards him seemingly ten times worse at the moment.

"I'm not-I didn't, it's not like I-"

"I don't _care_," Jesse hissed, moving in close and Blaine tried to back away from him, not wanting to get into a physical altercation. "You can see that there's some sort of attraction you hold to her, and if you're _around her _then you're _encouraging _it."

"I'm not encouraging it," Blaine sighed wearily. "I didn't ask her to come to me, or ask her to kiss me or-"

"But you didn't stop her, either!" Jesse yelled, Blaine's eyes narrowing.

"I hate to break it to you," Blaine countered, feeling enraged for no other reason than how much he wanted to ignore his statements, because they couldn't be true. Rachel was his only real friend at the moment, aside from Mike and possibly Sugar, and if she started feeling anything more for Blaine-it could destroy their friendship. In the end, it could ruin the work they put into the musical, it could nullify the truce she seemed to have gotten the cast to fall into with him, it could end everything he had been working for for nearly two months. "But I'm kind of contracted to be around her for the next few months. If your relationship can't handle it, then maybe you have bigger problems than me."

He didn't say another word as a cab pulled up, just glared at Jesse once more for good measure before climbing inside of it and giving the driver his address, his head already pounding from the impending hangover he surely needed to escape sometime before the next afternoon.


	6. Chapter 6

Rachel had learned to hold her liquor by the time she was 23, but that didn't stop her from awakening the morning after opening night with the worst hangover she'd ever experienced. She groaned as she rolled over, a sleeping Jesse taking up half of her bed and she was relieved to see that she at least hadn't done anything stupid enough for him to run in the opposite direction. She had a tendency to latch onto people when she was drinking, and had-at this point-made out with more than enough of her cast that she wouldn't have been surprised to hear she'd done the same the night prior, but Jesse usually left in a tiff whenever she did so, even if she assured him it meant nothing to her other than a way to break free of the careful regime she normally had in place for herself.

She climbed out of bed, careful not to move Jesse and awake him, before heading to her shower in an attempt to clear her head. The night before had been one of the single best in her entire life, performing in front of a nearly sold out crowd and seeing all her hard work and efforts finally paid off. She replayed the entire night in her head, from the moment the lights in the house dimmed until the moment she and Blaine had been whisked off in the car after signing playbills-playbills with _her name _in them, playbills that would be littering houses around the city and eventually around the country and potentially even the world, and she thought she was going to explode with pure happiness.

All the things that had gone wrong in her life before were made up completely in those moments, and she'd get to relive them over and over for at least the next five months, with the potential for another 7 after that if _Phantom _did well enough.

She carried the feeling of contentment along with her pounding headache all the way to the theater, parting from a scowling Jesse as he ran to his own apartment to freshen up before the day, too busy feeling elation to worry about whatever was getting him down for the moment. It stayed with her as she ordered tea at the Starbucks in the middle of Times Square, slightly out of her way but she wanted to look at all the billboards, knowing that there was one going up in a few short days that advertised her musical, with the names Blaine Anderson and Rachel Berry in broad white letters across the top of it. It was an exhilaration the likes of which she'd never known before, and she briefly remembered a time when she had stood in the middle of everything and uttered the words 'I made it' during a high school choir competition, so long before she had really, truly made it.

"You look happy," Blaine commented when she finally glided into the theater a half hour later, the smile still etched upon her face.

"I am," she replied simply, starting to head past him before he called out her name, seeming slightly uncomfortable. "Are you okay?" she asked, stilling her steps on the way to one of the rehearsal rooms where she was to meet with Artie on what to fix from the night before.

"I just think we need to probably talk for a second," he said after a moment, Rachel furrowing her brows as she cocked her head to the side and waited for him to continue. "About last night."

"What about last night?" she asked, her voice losing the carefree tone it had a moment before as a sense of dread pooled low in her stomach, unsure of what he was talking about.

He stared at her for a minute, as if waiting for her to catch up, but when she prodded him with his name he finally spoke again. "You don't remember last night, do you?"

"Not much after we arrived at the party," she admitted, chewing on her lip with a tiny shrug.

He nodded shortly at that but seemed determined to carry on regardless, Rachel wrapping an arm around herself as she waited for him to say what he needed to. "Well, there was a slight incident, I suppose you could call it," he started, Rachel's heart speeding up in fear because she could figure it out alone based on those words, and suddenly the fear that she'd fucked everything up was winding its way through her head as he continued, "where you kissed me."

"I-" she said, but he shook his head, clearly not needing to hear her explanation-one she didn't know if she could give anyways, almost grateful in a way for his need to interrupt her.

"Look, we were both drunk, and it wasn't like we made out in the middle of the party, but it can't happen again," he told her, sounding firm, almost like he was scolding her without actually scolding her. Her eyes fell to her palms where she pressed her thumbs into them to keep the threat of tears that suddenly wanted to appear at bay, nodding resolutely, because she understood. "I can barely get Jesse to be civil to me under normal circumstances, and if his girlfriend is kissing me whenever we're drinking-"

"It'll only make things worse," she said quietly, ignoring his small 'Yeah,' in response. "I'm sorry if I've made things difficult between you and Jesse," she told him after a moment, looking up only to see him staring at her with a look she couldn't quite place, his smile not nearly as broad and easy as it normally was when they joked around during rehearsals.

"Jesse wouldn't like me regardless," Blaine pointed out, and she let out a small laugh at the truth of the statement. "But, as long as we keep to ourselves aside from the show, he doesn't have anything to worry about."

"Exactly," she agreed, "we're just friends. There's nothing more between us."

"He'll figure that out eventually," Blaine nodded, and she couldn't help but notice the dull sense of pain and longing hidden away in the corner of her mind at their conversation, wasn't sure why it was there in the first place. She loved Jesse, so much, and Blaine-he was nothing more than a friend, just like she said.

Yet, as they hugged to rid themselves of the tension that seemed palpable in the hallway before he turned to head to his own meeting with Mike about something, Rachel walking in the opposite direction to see Artie, she couldn't help but let the thoughts that she'd repressed since the day she met him at vocal training.

The ones that said maybe, just maybe, she wanted to be a little more than just friends with Blaine.

* * *

She tried to shut the voice that whispered in her ear about the possibilities of her and Blaine up, to tell it to go back into hiding and to ignore it completely, but as the weeks started passing by in a blur of performance after performance, spending hour after hour with him, Rachel couldn't seem to make it quiet down. It would roar loudly after a particularly great performance when he'd hug her tightly, picking her off the ground a little as she cried out in surprise in her own euphoria. It would sneak up on her when they signed playbills side by side in the cool air of the fall nights that fell upon them, his arm brushed against hers as they both reached for another fans poster. It came from everywhere and nowhere all at once, any time he was so much as mentioned.

If Jesse noticed, he didn't say a word, though their relationship was once more rocky at best. He hated that he'd been pushed off the sign in Times Square, his name not included after his efforts to exclude Blaine reached ears of those in charge, and whether it was punishment or not, Jesse was simply told that Blaine was their big draw in for ticket sales, and his name would be enlarged to bring more people in.

He hadn't taken that well.

As a result, he took it out on Rachel, who tried her hardest to find a balance between loving and caring girlfriend and a woman who would stand her ground and not be pushed around. The stress of it seemed to propel her closer to Blaine, who never asked specifically about her relationship with Jesse but sensed that it wasn't right nonetheless, occasionally wrapping Rachel in a hug when she needed it the most. She didn't know how to tell him that she appreciated those things, especially given how shaky the beginning of their friendship had gone, but there had been no incidents since opening night, Rachel steering far clear of Blaine whenever alcohol got involved.

Sugar was the only one who seemed to notice there was any sort of strain on Rachel period, her eyes trained on Rachel more often than Rachel would like to admit. Even if the girl was wrapped up in the romance that had now hit tabloid magazines, Sugar was still her roommate and best friend, and Rachel felt almost scrutinized under her gaze sometimes.

She spent almost three months in a confused state of mind over who it was she wanted to be with before she caved and asked Sugar to meet her for coffee, deciding that it was time to talk to someone who she could use as an impartial board to bounce off of, to collect her thoughts and voice the ones she hadn't dared to speak aloud.

It was colder now, the November air biting at Rachel's ungloved hands as she gripped her coffee tighter and found the caramel colored locks of her friends hair in the crowd, Sugar sitting at one of the many red tables littering the area with her own cup of tea and what looks suspiciously like a portable space heater sitting in front of her.

Rachel sat down across from her without preamble, Sugar tapping her toes in the cold to keep herself warm, even if the space heater was doing its job at keeping the air around them relatively warmer, keeping silent as she waited for Rachel to speak. It was almost unnatural for Sugar to sit quietly for longer than a few seconds, but she knew that Rachel had called her there for an important discussion, something that she didn't trust to talk about in their apartment-where Cooper and Jesse had a tendency to walk in and out without a thought in the world-or the theater, where any number of people could overhear them.

Still, it took her a moment before she said anything, and it was only when she saw the giant advertisement for their musical above the American Eagle, bearing the names _Blaine Anderson _and _Rachel Berry _in a row that the words made their way out of her. "I think I have feelings for Blaine," she spit out, Sugar's grin splitting her face in two as she squealed 'I knew it!'

"I've seen this coming for like, ever, because you two are constantly touching and-well, don't tell Cooper I told you he told me, but he said Blaine like, totally has a thing for you." Rachel's heart sped quicker at her roommates words, shaking her head to get them out, but it did no good, it was almost as if they'd now permanently attached themselves inside of her brain. She reminded herself to take them with a grain of sand, that Cooper and Sugar were hardly resourceful when it came to gossip and it was this that reminded her of a much bigger problem as it was.

"That's irrelevant, Sugar, because even if he does, I still have Jesse," Rachel hissed, leaning across the table and Sugar's mouth fell into an 'oh', her eyes almost comically wide.

"Well, do you still love Jesse?" she asked, an innocent enough question but it seemed almost heavy handed as Rachel weighed it in her mind.

"Yes," she said, drawing out the word as if she was thinking it over, and the fact that she did wove guilt through her like nothing else had. "Of course I love him," she said, elaborating more with a steady nod, Sugar merely raising an eyebrow as she sipped at her own beverage. "Things have just been difficult, but we'll work through it. And this crush on Blaine will disappear, and Jesse and I will live happily ever after. We're just in a rough patch again."

"Rach, can I be blunt?" Sugar asked, and Rachel just waved a hand to let her continue, knowing it didn't matter if she allowed it or not, Sugar would ultimately say what she wanted. "Maybe the reason you and Jesse haven't figured things out isn't because, like, you don't want to. Maybe it's because you're just not right for each other?"

Rachel frowned, not wanting to believe the words. A world without Jesse as the love of her life seemed scary, unknown. She'd fallen in love with him the second they met, his charm and charisma and pure, raw talent pulling her in before she even learned his name, and she had made a promise to herself that day that she'd find a way to spend the rest of her life with him if she could, and now it was only a few years later and she was questioning all of that.

Sugar had a point, she knew, and as the other girl started discussing how she and Cooper were thinking about moving in together, Rachel only half paid attention, too enraptured by her own thoughts. She had to count on Blaine being a passing fancy for her, because if he wasn't, he could ruin whatever it was she had spent the past several years building together with Jesse, and she didn't know if she was willing to risk that yet either.

Despite their shortcomings, she did love him, she knew, and whether they were on or off they always had a dynamic that was almost too intense for most to handle, one that she wasn't sure she could live without. So she'd do what she had been trying for so long, and place whatever small thing she felt towards Blaine on the shelf, try her best to remind herself that she was in a happy relationship and move on, better said relationship with Jesse and everything would work out.

She would find a way to make it work. She had to.

* * *

She did her best, and as the weeks passed it almost seemed like things were truly getting better between the two of them. The feelings for Blaine didn't disperse, much as she wanted them to, but they were manageable, easily locked away as Jesse became more like the guy she had fallen so easily in love with back in the beginning. It was easier to ignore the fluttering in her stomach every night as she and Blaine kissed on stage, to ignore the way her breath caught when she saw him changing occasionally as she passed his open dressing room, to ignore the way his hand felt on the small of her back as he led her through the crowds of people when they arrived at the theater at the same time.

It was getting easier to ignore the less hostile Jesse acted towards him, and even if the actions still left her slightly flustered and breathless, she controlled herself better, linking hands with Jesse and kissing his cheek and making sure all three of them knew that her love was reserved for him and him alone.

As the days got colder, December sneaking upon them with snow and wind the likes of which Rachel had hardly seen in years, Jesse became slightly secretive, keeping something from her that she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know. He planned an elaborate date the day before her birthday, taking her to Sardi's for a birthday dinner and attending the recently reopened production of _Rent_, both Rachel and Jesse's understudy's taking over their roles on their stage for their weekend off. Rachel hated to admit it, but she hated the nights that she didn't get to perform, wanted nothing more than to go on stage every night, but she let herself be wooed all over again by Jesse, Blaine as far from her mind as possible.

The morning of her birthday, she awoke to breakfast in bed as Jesse prepared for the flight he had to take back home-his mother had fallen ill, and as much as he didn't want to go visit, his family demanded he pay a visit regardless.

"Thank you for the pancakes," she said quietly, watching as he gathered the last of his things he had laying around her bedroom, a small smile on his face as he looked over at her.

"It's the least I can do, abandoning you on your birthday like I am," Jesse replied with a slight shrug, but she just smiled at him serenely.

"You can't control it," she promised him earnestly. "Sugar will probably just take me out for drinks anyways, maybe drag Cooper and Blaine along." She noticed his shoulders tense at Blaine's name but he didn't say anything, just placed his bag on a chair before moving to sit next to her, kissing the side of her head.

"I love you," he said quietly, and she hummed in response as she pushed away the tray holding her breakfast in order to climb into his lap, straddling his hips so she could kiss him quickly.

"I love you too," she promised, her face only inches from his own and he seemed nervous for a moment, Rachel tilting her head and asking him what was wrong in response to the fear behind his normally steady blue eyes. "Jesse, what's wrong? Are you worried about your mother? I know you're not very close, but-"

"It's not that," Jesse said quickly, pulling her to him for another kiss that was almost desperate, needy, and Rachel would have laughed if she hadn't turned concerned at his actions.

"Talk to me, please," she asked him quietly, brushing a stray hair off his forehead as she chewed on her lip, worried by his sudden change in attitude.

He didn't say anything, despite her request, but instead pulled out a box from his pocket, tiny and square and covered in black velvet, and as it came into Rachel's eye line she was sure she was going to throw up, though she didn't know why. She tried to play off any panic that may have shown on her face, not saying a word as he opened the box and showed her a gorgeous diamond ring, the words nearly silent as he uttered them. "Marry me, Rachel Berry."


	7. Chapter 7

Being a Broadway star was even more demanding than being a pop star, or so Blaine learned quickly. There were next to no days off, no time to relax and breathe, just time enough to sleep before going on stage once more. It should have been tedious to perform the same lines day in and day out, but Blaine loved it-loved that as the show went on, reviews were less centered on 'golden boy Blaine Anderson' and on the work of the whole cast, that there had been several now where he hadn't even been mentioned at all, Rachel's name taken front and center as they raved about the flawless new find sure to sweep through Broadway in no time.

Then there was Rachel herself. Blaine had done his best to look past their incidents, erase all the history from the beginning of their rollercoaster friendship, but the fact was that he couldn't. Every day she seemed to find a new way to take him by surprise; she'd do or say something that should have been entirely inconsequential, but it only seemed to pull him closer to her, closer to feelings he knew were changing into exactly what he'd told her couldn't happen between them. Jesse seemed to keep his eye on Blaine while backing off all at once, which was a relief to him as it let him finally focus on the other people in the cast without fear of repercussions.

Being around her nearly 24/7 didn't help but escalate his feelings, and when they were finally granted a few days' vacation to rest and relax, Blaine intended to stay as far away from Rachel as he possibly could in an attempt to clear his mind of her. It lasted all of four hours into his first day off before Cooper was heading out the door only for Rachel to appear in his place, standing in the entrance of his living room looking like she wasn't sure how she had wound up there.

"I need a distraction," she said before he could question her on why she was there. "It's been an," she paused, seeming flustered as she waved her hand around in hopes of looking for the right word, "an intense morning, I suppose and I just-Sugar and Cooper are going out of town for the rest of the week, and I didn't know who else to turn to."

He watched with curious eyes as she flushed pink, her teeth gnawing at her lip and he couldn't help but ask "What about Jesse?" if only to make sure the boyfriend in question wasn't going to show up and cause a scene. She looked away from him at his words, her fingers twisting around her left hand ring finger, and Blaine's heart constricted lightly at the motion, even if it still lay bare. "Rachel?" he pressed, standing up for the first time since she arrived, but it was enough to snap her back to attention, eyes wild and alarmed as she looked at him.

"He proposed," Rachel whispered, and Blaine's first instinct was once more to look at her empty finger, her eyes watching his and noticing where they fell. "Before he left to go visit his family in California, this morning over breakfast he just-he asked me to marry him."

"And you came here?" Blaine asked, trying to see where that decision had come from.

"I told him I needed to think it over," she said, taking a deep breath. "He didn't seem happy about it, but he said he understood. He's waiting for me to give him an answer when he comes back on Monday."

"And for now?" he inquired, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans to keep them from running along his arm or rubbing at the back of his neck like he so anxiously wanted to, damning all gods that had sent her here to him at this time. He wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms, to give her a list of reasons why she should reject Jesse's proposal, of why she should be with himself instead-but he knew he couldn't.

They were just friends.

He had made sure of that from the very beginning.

"For now, I am in need of someone to distract me for the day," Rachel repeated, steadying herself and daring to look Blaine in the eyes as a smile grew on her face. "We so rarely get time off, and I want a New York type of day."

"Aren't you the native New Yorker?" he teased gently, glad to see her smile less manic and more relaxed at the joke.

"Yes, but it's-" she hesitated for a minute, something Blaine wouldn't have even noticed had he not been watching her carefully, "I am demanding you take me out for the day."

"Well, if it's a _demand_," he joked, but slung an arm around her shoulder as they headed for the door, Blaine grabbing a jacket to fend off the winter winds outside as they passed the hallway closet, "I suppose I don't really have a choice in the matter."

"You don't," she said simply, buttoning her own coat back up, and he only laughed in response as he grabbed his keys before leading her out the door, absentmindedly grabbing her hand and lacing her fingers with his own as they walked to the elevator.

"Well, where to first?" he asked, Rachel shaking her head and making a soft tisking noise in his direction.

"It's my day of no-stress," she reminded him, "you have to come up with it all on your own."

Blaine had a vague idea on where to take her, though he decided it would be nicer to cut through the park than to get a taxi or call a driver. "Typical New York day, right?" he repeated, her smile warm as she grabbed his gloved hand with her own, and they found themselves ducking across the street and enveloped in the quiet of one of the city's main attractions. Blaine wasn't sure his motives were exactly pure, but he also had a feeling she wouldn't have come to him if she wasn't looking for a reason not to say 'yes' to the ridiculous proposal Jesse had given her.

He tried to distract her as they wound their way through groups of small children giggling about the snow that was sure to fall by the end of the day, couples young and old walking hand in hand just as they were, and he wondered if there was anyone who would see their fingers intertwined through the fabric of their gloves and assume that they were dating. If he was anyone else, it would have warmed him to think that someone would even consider Rachel capable of settling for him, but as Sebastian's voicemail from the morning rang loud in his head, he knew he had to be careful.

"You grew up here, didn't you?" Blaine asked after a moment, letting Rachel lead him through the sidewalks.

"In Brooklyn, actually, but yes. My fathers never could stand to live too far from the city and it's lights, and my mom used to desire Broadway, though not nearly as strongly as I did," Rachel explained, Blaine listening intently. "She used to tell me, when she took me to shows, that my star just shone brighter than hers, and that it was an inevitability that I'd wind up on a stage someday."

She quieted at those words, chewing on her lip with a sad look in her eyes, one Blaine couldn't begin to comprehend, one that spoke deeper than a slight mourning of a childhood lost. "You okay?"

"It's just," she started, stilling for a moment and staring off into the distance, only brought back to him when he said her name once more. "That's what Jesse said to me, the first time we met. He was so sure of himself, that we were going to wind up together. I didn't want anything to do with him," she laughed, quietly, but Blaine focused only on the twinge of sadness behind her words. "But he was determined, and charming and I eventually gave in. And for the longest time, I thought maybe he saw something I just didn't, that we were an inevitability."

"And now?" Blaine asked, trying not to hold his breath as her eyes focused on the sidewalk beneath their feet as Rachel moved them forward again, shrugging her shoulders after a quiet minute.

"I really have no idea," she answered, and he had no idea what to say in response to that. The fact that she was so hesitant about going forward with any kind of engagement worked in his favor, of course, but she was still attached to Jesse and didn't seem to want to let go of him for reasons he wasn't really sure of.

"Hey," he said, startling her slightly as they rounded by the old dairy farm, an idea crossing his mind as he grinned at her, "today is supposed to take your mind off of all that, right?"

"Right," she agreed hesitantly, not quite seeming to follow where he was going even as he led them down one of the paths towards the baseball fields-surely abandoned in the cold, but that wasn't where he wanted to go anyways.

"Then let's do something you haven't done since you were a kid," he said, grinning and she gave him a weird look that turned into a small laugh when she realized where they were heading, shaking her head.

"It's closed, Blaine," she reminded him as they rounded on the carousel. "It's only open during the spring."

"And you," he replied, "seem to forget who I am." She shot him a look that spoke louder than words, that it was hard to forget who he was when his name was still so much more prominent in things than her own was, but he told her to stay put while he darted off to find someone who knew how to operate the carousel.

It took a fair bit of haggling and arguing once he found someone in charge, but in the end all it took was a few too many mentions of who he was and what kind of power he could have over their tourist attractions, but he finally succeeded. When he returned to Rachel with an employee, she almost seemed shocked, racing over to him with a quick "They're going to turn it on for us?"

"I told you I could do it," he smiled, hugging her momentarily before letting her go. She smiled widely at him before racing back through the gates, a loud 'thank you!' thrown at the employee as she settled onto one of the horses, Blaine settling for one a few behind her. It was something she had mentioned doing when she was younger in passing one day when she found an old clip of Cooper and he on the ride from when they first moved to the city, mocking him endlessly for being in his mid-twenties and still doing childish activities. He could have brought it up now, teased her back just as well, but she was smiling and happy and she kept looking back at him as if he had done something right, something she hadn't expected.

He supposed, in a way, he had. They hadn't spent too much of their time together alone, out in the world, because it was easier not to. Easier to bottle up feelings and emotions Blaine couldn't bother denying anymore, easier to deal with the fact that she was anothers', easier to accept that at the end of the day, she still only saw him as her friend and nothing more. And in his silent promise to back away from her, he hadn't gone above and beyond like he could have so many times, showing up Jesse until she was suitably shown just how little he was actually doing for her. And it wasn't just the privileges Blaine had from his fame, because she was going to come into those on her own with the way the musicals popularity was going, but emotionally, because Jesse still acted like a high schooler and Blaine was willing to put aside jealousy and his own wants and desires for the simple act of her happiness.

"Thank you," she whispered when they finally had their fill, Blaine generously tipping the employee subtlety so Rachel wouldn't notice as she rebuttoned her coat, eyes gleaming with the pure and innocent happiness of doing something unexpected and juvenile. "Where too next?" she asked, linking arms with him once he caught up to her, but he merely grinned and held his fingers up to his lips, as if he was zipping them shut, and she laughed loudly at the action but allowed him to lead her, Blaine determined to continue his streak of genius as they headed towards their next destination.

* * *

They spent the rest of their afternoon exploring the costume exhibit at the Met, something she'd expressed an interest in to Tina one day when they were all eating lunch together, wandering through the thickets of children on field trips and tourists once more, Blaine's only real request that they check out the music wing before they left. She was practically glued to his side as they moved through the elegant building, an absurd amount of energy bubbling out of her as she talked about anything and everything-except, of course, Jesse, but he wasn't going to bring him up again.

She kept it up all throughout the late dinner they shared in a tiny bistro he knew of a few blocks off of Museum Mile, the atmosphere quiet and laid back and her face flushing from the red wine she drank with her pasta, the entire time her focus never straying too far from him. He'd had more than enough attention in his life, so much that he didn't even want, but he craved any he could get from her. Maybe it was because she seemed too wrapped up in her own life when they were working and on stage, or maybe it was because she made him laugh longer and harder than he had in a long time when she regaled him with tales of her college days, the promiscuous side of her that did a lot more than just kiss anyone she was near when intoxicated; had never felt more relaxed as he shared his own horror stories, from past girlfriends whose names he wouldn't really care to recall or growing up with Cooper as his older brother.

"One last place," he promised, setting her into a taxi and telling the driver where to go before joining her inside, Rachel watching silently as the city passed them by. He wondered how often she did this, sat in the back of some car or another and just felt her city-because it was hers, she shone brighter than half the billboards did-watched it pass by and he almost asked her before they arrived a block away from the stairs to Broadway, a place he'd avoided like the plague since he visited the city in his teens for a show choir competition.

"Where are we going?" she asked quietly as he linked their hands once more to each other, pulling her through the busiest crowds they'd seen all day. Even in the dropping temperatures, it seemed that everyone wanted to see the bright lights of the world's most famous square, but she followed dutifully as he led the way to the stairs, not even hesitating to ask people to move out of the way as they climbed to the top.

The poster bearing their names was to their right as they looked over the area, and the people who recognized them didn't bother hiding their stares, but no one came up to them and for that he was grateful. She didn't say anything as she sat down on the red, glowing step, tucking her legs underneath her and pulling on his hand until he joined her, the cold leaving a slight pink tint to her cheeks that seemed permanently stuck there.

"Thank you," she said, and he just shrugged, the snow starting to fall delicately around them as a group of college students started singing to some pop song he heard far too often on the radio.

"You needed a day," he said by way of explanation. "I feel honored to have taken a part in it."

"No," she said, shaking her head as if he didn't get it. "Thank you for everything, Blaine," she said again, chewing on her lip anxiously for a moment before continuing. "This was probably the best birthday I've ever had."

"It's your birthday?" he asked in shock, trying to figure out just how he had missed out on that. She hid her head for a moment, almost looking ashamed, and he had to admit he was a little hurt that he hadn't known, "why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to spend time with you without you feeling pressured to do something crazy or important," she explained. "Granted, you did both anyways, but I appreciate it."

"Had I known it was your-"

"What would you have done different?" she asked quietly, raising an eyebrow and he supposed she had a point, there wasn't anything he could think of that might have made it a better day for her, but he knocked shoulders with her anyways.

"I might have demanded they sing to you in the restaurant," he teased, Rachel giggling as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"It was the perfect day," she hummed quietly, her arm slipping around his and holding her close to him.

He knew they'd have to part eventually, go their separate ways and that she still had her decision to make, but he hoped that maybe by giving her the perfect birthday, without even meaning to, she might not say 'yes'. That while her boyfriend was off jet setting across the country, she'd recognize that Blaine had been there to pick up the slightly broken pieces and make them whole again, that he'd be willing to do so time and time again, if only she let him.

It was only a matter of her figuring that out.

* * *

**a/n: **i know i've been lame with only updating like, once a week but i have a lot of other fics mid-progress (large projects, really, and a new collab over on the kashfaberry account) and work and etc etc so basically sorry for being lame but i love you all and your reviews over the past week have made me extraordinarily happy so ty


	8. Chapter 8

Saying 'yes' to Jesse's proposal was the only option Rachel really felt she had. She loved him, deeply and truly so, had for over three years. On so many levels, she was sure he was perfect for her, her other half, her soulmate, and whether they were fighting or acting as madly in love as a new couple, he was stable. He was reliable and he was there and she had spent so long trying to build a future with him that to throw it out for anyone, regardless of how wonderful they were, seemed wrong.

It wasn't that she was denying that she felt something to Blaine, at least to herself. It had been building for a long time, perhaps since they first met if she was in a place of real and true honesty, but she had tried fighting it and denying it, at least until she showed up at his apartment on her birthday. The day had been wonderful, and perfect, and everything she would have asked for had she thought to, but with Blaine she _didn't _have to. He knew, almost instinctively, where she'd want to go and what she'd enjoy doing. She had asked for a day expecting nothing more than perhaps the zoo in the park or a tourist trap adventure and somehow ended up on one of the best dates of her life, even if she couldn't classify it as a date.

She wanted to, down in her heart, and she had very nearly come close to kissing him as they sat in the snowstorm that built around them in Times Square as people headed indoors for shelter, Blaine only wrapping his scarf around her to keep her warm until she was ready to leave the sight. The scene had been perfect, and had she not been holding an engagement over her head she would have turned his head and leaned in to kiss him, in a way that she hadn't been able to. In a way she wouldn't be able to, she reminded herself. She'd controlled herself around him when they were out with the cast, drinks being passed around and Rachel inevitably winding up silly drunk, they'd managed to keep their stage kisses exactly as they were supposed to be and nothing more, not about them, but she couldn't help but think that he wanted it as much as she did.

But as much as she wanted to give in, she had made a promise, meeting Jesse at LGA when his flight arrived back in and flinging her arms around him as she proclaimed 'yes', wearing his ring on her left hand whenever she wasn't on stage, and on a chained necklace that was hidden underneath costumes whenever she was. She went home with Jesse on her arm, was busy planning a wedding and picking dates and finding a new apartment with him. She ignored Sugar's glares in her direction at the process; even though she'd accepted her role as maid of honor, Sugar wasn't pleased with the way things were going.

She'd started harassing her on a near daily basis, asking her about the doubts Rachel had expressed only a month prior, and Rachel had rarely seen Sugar so invested in someone else's life. She'd try and turn the tables, ask about her relationship with Cooper, but Sugar would tisk and make a statement about how that wasn't the real Anderson Rachel wanted to discuss.

Rachel hated to admit to herself that Sugar was right.

But she kept any doubts and questions and attractions to anyone that wasn't her fiancée silent, wrapping herself in her world of working and wedding planning, even if the occasional glances Blaine threw her way still sent shivers down her spine. He had told her he understood, when she approached him and explained that she had accepted Jesse's proposal, though she didn't think he actually did. He had fled shortly afterwards, a pained expression on his face, and it hurt her to know that she was the cause of that.

Still, they did their best to remain friends, Jesse relaxing much more around Blaine as he seemed content to know Rachel was his, something she had overheard him discussing one day with one of the stagehands. He had his claim on her, for good, and while it made her uncomfortable to be thought of like that, as she twirled the diamond ring on her finger she supposed he was right.

She had made her decision, agreeing to marry Jesse, and now she had to accept it. She put Jesse first once more, pushing aside Blaine in order to focus on the man she had chosen to spend the rest of her life with. Most of the time she was okay with this, happy even, but other days she wanted to announce that she'd changed her mind and run away from all the responsibilities she was being tied down with and her upcoming marriage, wanted to break free of the seemingly stifling life Jesse was trying to prepare for them.

It was on one of these days that something was off, Jesse not coming on stage as Raul but instead as the Phantom and nearly startling Rachel out of character. They made it through the entire first act before she could pull Jesse aside, asking where Blaine was.

"Dunno," Jesse grinned, kissing her quickly, "but I get to be where I'm supposed to, Rach. I get to be your Phantom tonight."

"Blaine doesn't miss shows, Jesse," she replied, pacing around her dressing room. "He doesn't-something is wrong, and what if no one has even bothered to check on him, and-"

"Are you really worried about Blaine right now? Rach, this is a big night for me, and you're panicking about Anderson?" Jesse growled, Mike knocking on Rachel's dressing room door to let them know they only had 10 more minutes before the second act began.

"Michael!" she called out, the man reappearing in her doorway a second later. "Where is Blaine?"

"Hospital," Mike said, shaking his head as the color drained from her cheeks, "Not like that! Sugar came earlier and dragged him away. Cooper had a bad accident, and he said that he wouldn't make it to tonight's performance."

"What hospital?" she asked, stripping out of her costume as quickly as possible before she even realized what she was really doing, Mike answering her skeptically as Jesse asked her what in gods name she thought she was doing. "Tell Tina to get ready," she directed Mike, "she's taking my place for the rest of the show."

Mike did as he was told, ducking out right before Jesse started to explode, his eyes cutting daggers through her skin as she located jeans and a teeshirt she wasn't sure was hers. "You're going to see him? Rachel, it's not even _him _in the hospital, and even if it was-"

"Cooper is important to him," she interrupted, locating her boots to throw them on as well. "More so than he lets on. And Cooper is important to Sugar. I'm doing this for her as much as for him," she lied, though Jesse seemed to see right through it.

"You're giving up your leading role on a Broadway stage to go-what, stand around a hospital for five hours instead?"

"I'm being a good friend," Rachel hissed, reaching around Jesse to try and locate her coat, his hand stopping her own as he held it in front of her face.

"What about being a good fiancée, Rachel, or is that just not as important anymore?"

"This isn't about you and I, Jesse, this is about a friend-_our _friend, who is upset and needs someone and-"

"He doesn't need anyone!" Jesse roared, Rachel flinching slightly at the volume. "And he sure as hell doesn't need you, Rachel!"

"Neither do you," she shouted back, "but that hasn't stopped me from being by your side every minute of every day for the past three years! This is my life, and my choice, and if I want to give Tina the opportunity to take over for the rest of the show while I go and make sure my friends are okay, then I damn sure will!"

Jesse didn't say anything as she buttoned up her coat, fuming and it wasn't until she walked out of her door, Jesse following closely behind that he hissed, "If you go see him, Rachel, then that ring means nothing. Your choice means _nothing to me_."

She stared at him intently for a minute before walking away, not knowing the full extent of what she was leaving behind just yet but knowing it would blow up in her face sooner or later, instead focusing on getting a taxi in the snow that was starting to come down and getting to the hospital-to Sugar, to Cooper, and most importantly to Blaine-as soon as she possibly could.

* * *

Sugar had told her what room they were all located in as soon as she texted her that she was on her way, her stomach a bundle of nerves as she twisted her engagement ring around and around on her finger, resting her head on the cold cab window as her eyes glazed over, not really seeing the city lights as they passed through them.

_It means nothing to me._

She didn't know where this left them, if she and Jesse were even still technically together, but the thoughts only clouded her mind for a moment before Blaine texted her, telling her not to come.

She ignored his message, throwing her phone in her bag after turning it off and asking the cab if he could please, please move faster.

By the time they arrived at the hospital, Rachel handed the driver what she owed him quickly before darting out of the backseat, rushing past family members and visitors, patients and doctors as she found an elevator that would lead her to the floor Cooper was being kept on. No one had told her how he was doing, how serious things were, and that worried her more than anything.

She saw Sugar before anyone else, standing outside a door and leaning against a wall, the life and energy that seemed to pour out of her every orifice normally completely gone, everything about her screaming 'bleak', and Rachel feared for the worst as she closed in on her friend, not saying a word as she brought the girl in for a hug. Sugar returned the gesture, wrapping herself around Rachel as Rachel held her close, the door next to them open as she saw Cooper in a hospital bed, machines set up around him and beeping, Blaine holding his brothers hand with his back to Rachel.

She took a deep breath, not sure how to ask Sugar what exactly had happened or what was being done to fix it when Blaine seemed to sense her presence, turning and staring just as dejectedly as Sugar appeared, her eyes brimming with tears at the pure sadness in his eyes as he forced a half-smile for her before his attention was directed towards his brother once more.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked Sugar quietly, the other girl nodding but not speaking, and Rachel had no idea how to make this better for either of them so she simply squeezed her hand as they parted.

"He needs you more," Sugar said quietly before folding her arms around herself once more and leaning against the wall, not seeming to be able to actually go into the room and face what had happened, Rachel leaving her in the hall to stand by Blaine's side, her hand instinctively reaching for his free one.

Cooper was unconscious, his hand limp inside of Blaine's own, gauze wrapped around his head littered with blotches of drying red, scratches and cuts littering his exposed skin across his face and arms, and Rachel had to choke back a slight sob at the pure sight. She hadn't gotten particularly close to Cooper, aside from a few meetings here and there with Sugar or Blaine, but his presence was still known in her life as larger than life, and to see him so fragile hurt her heart, and she couldn't imagine how Blaine was beginning to feel with it.

"They're taking him to surgery in a few minutes," Blaine finally said after a few minutes of silence, her head resting on his shoulder and his fingers tightening around hers as he spoke. "He has some sort of internal damage-I didn't quite catch what it was, everyone was talking too fast and-"

"He'll be okay," she whispered, but he only let out a snort of disbelief at that. "Was anyone else hurt?"

"No," Blaine answered, shaking his head but his eyes didn't leave his brothers face. "The car that hit them-the driver got out fine, drunk as fuck but fine, and the taxi driver made it out with only a few bumps, nothing too severe."

She was halted from asking anything else as a stream of doctors and nurses came in, explaining what was about to go down in the surgery to Blaine. He appeared to be listening, but Rachel could tell that he had checked out of the conversation, his eyes a little too focused on the clipboard in one of the doctors hands, his jaw tense and she worried he was going to explode if he didn't let out some of the tension he so clearly felt.

She waited until they were gone, Sugar disappearing somewhere and leaving her and Blaine completely alone in the room, Blaine starting to pace anxiously. "Blaine, you need to let something out," she said quietly, but he didn't seem to heed her advice, his steps seemingly more determined to run a hole through the floor beneath them. "I know you're worried, but you can freak out, or cry, or-"

"I'm fine, Rachel," Blaine snapped, and she fell silent for a moment before she grabbed his hand and pulled him with her. She knew he wouldn't have the meltdown he needed to have when there was a chance someone could walk by, Blaine much too private for his emotions to be shown to the whole world, and she quickly found a relatively deserted corridor and pushed him inside what appeared to be a supply closet, her arms crossing over her chest as he looked at her curiously.

"You're not fine," she told him, trying to keep her voice steady. "You're upset, and you're worried, and you're stressed, and it's all for good reason. Your brother was in a serious car accident, and you're not sure if he's going to be okay. It's okay to freak out about this."

"I'm not you, Rachel," he replied, tone snide but he wouldn't look at her as he said the words and it reassured her to know that he didn't mean anything he said. "I don't need to run away at the first sign of stress."

She chewed on her lip for a moment, knowing exactly what he was referring to. "I may have ran away, used you as a distraction, tried to clear my head for a little while, but in the end it worked out, didn't it?"

He laughed, harsh and loud in the small area, the noise reverberating around them and it made her feel small. "Worked out really well, Rach. You went back to Jesse and told him you'd _marry him _and now only two months later you've trapped me in a supply closet to talk about feelings like you're some sort of expert while people shove their hands inside of my brother to fix what shouldn't have been broken!"

"This isn't about any of that," she said quietly, "this is about-"

"Why isn't it about that, Rachel? How come we never discuss it? How you clearly have feelings for me, even when you run back to Jesse at the end of every day. How I'm head over heels for you, but you still told him 'yes'. You couldn't even say 'yes' as soon as he asked, Rachel, what makes you think that he's supposed to be the one you end up with?"

"It's not about that!" she nearly yelled, trying to keep them on track, because his words stung low with their truth. "This is about Cooper, and how you're ignoring preparing for any possible outcome!"

"How could I ignore it when it's right there? How could I ignore it when I thought I had every available outcome with you, only for the worst of all to be the relevant one?"

"Because you didn't have me, Blaine! Jesse does! Jesse has me!" she shouted, not bothering to keep her voice down anymore.

"And that's why you ran from him and spent your birthday with me? Instead of spending your vacation days with your fiancée, you spent them with me, because you're _his_?" Blaine asked, shaking his head. "No."

"That was an-"

"Don't you say it, Rachel Berry, don't you tell me that it was a mistake because it wasn't. If it was, you wouldn't have given up the second act to come down here tonight. If I was so misguided in what I thought you felt in return, you wouldn't be standing here in front of me right now."

She didn't know what to say to that in return, shrugging helplessly for a moment before quietly saying "I just thought you might want someone here, a distraction or something."

He stared at her for a minute before growling "Fine, be my distraction," and pushing her against the wall behind her, her gasp of surprise covered quickly with his lips melding into her own. She knew she should have pushed him away, told him that she couldn't, that she was technically still engaged and the ring around her finger proved it, but instead she drew him in closer, her hands pulling him by his shirt as his own tangled in her hair, moved to her waist, slid up the back of her shirt.

"Can't," she hissed, trying to be effective but it was fruitless as he nipped at her bottom lip, teeth dragging across her tanned skin and down the column of her neck while her hands made quick work of the buttons on his shirt. She didn't bother forcing it off of him, letting fingers trail delicately down his abdomen as his tongue caressed the swell of her breast, the desire she tried so hard to keep in check around him pounding through every inch of her skin, her heartbeat seeming almost deafening in her ears as his fingers unsnapped her jeans.

"Want to?" he murmured, mouth back around her ear and even if it wasn't a fully formed question, she knew what he was asking of her even as his fingers teased just under the waistband of the denim covering her skin, her hands winding around his back and pulling him closer and into a deep kiss in lieu of a real answer, his palm pressed flat against her stomach as she pressed their bodies firmly against each other. Her breathing was ragged when they parted, her teeth pulling at his bottom lip as he pulled away from her enough to lift her slightly against the wall, a firm grasp on both her thighs as he supported her and she rolled her hips into his if only to see the way his eyes darkened even deeper from their normally light hazel, to hear the slight growl that ripped from down in his throat, her tongue pressed firmly against the spot to feel the slight vibration from the action.

"So bad," she admitted, her own voice sounding throaty and low and he pushed his hips into hers as she spoke, a small shudder passing over the skin underneath her fingertips as he did so. He let go of her so she could push away her jeans, immediately moving to make quick work of his own once she was half undressed, but he didn't let her push them much past his thighs, her hands pushing away boxer briefs and grasping onto him as she exposed his dick, her tongue darting out to lick her lips slightly.

She wanted nothing more than to drop to her knees, to show him the other things she could do with her lips and her mouth but he seemed to have a different idea as he pushed her firmly against the wall once more, grabbing one of her thighs and dragging her as close to him as could be. As much as her firm strokes taunted him, he seemed to desire the same sort of slow torture for her, a finger lightly pressed against her clit causing her to let out a small whimper, a plead for more.

He didn't make her wait, instead moving her hand away, his eyes flashing practically black as she brought her thumb to her lips, sucking off the drops of pre-cum she had swiped off of him and his tongue quickly followed it into her mouth at the same time he positioned himself at her entrance, pushing in quickly.

She bit down hard on his lip at the sudden intrusion, though her moan was low and he swallowed it with his kisses, and her hips seemed to move of their own accord as soon as he started to pull out, attempting to draw him back inside of her. They moved quickly, harshly, tongues and teeth scraping across skin and sure to leave marks, but Rachel could hardly think to care about any of that at the moment. His breath was hot against her ear, the noises he made almost delectable and she found herself pushing to meet his every movement. Her back arched into his touch as his thumb ghosted over an exposed nipple, her whine for more spurring him into taking it into his mouth until she was panting heavily, her chest heaving as she clung on tighter to him.

Her walls clamped down tighter around him as she neared the edge of an impending orgasm, her breath coming in short gasps and he seemed just as close as she was, and she couldn't help herself from begging him to arrive first, "Please, Blaine, come for me," coming out between a string of explicatives that he couldn't answer with words, only a few short grunts, his grip on her thigh tightening until she seemed to slide down against the wall behind her, Blaine effectively being buried even deeper inside her and they both stopped their motions as her breath caught in her throat, her eyes scrunched tight as she dug her nails sharply into his back, Blaine's teeth digging into her shoulder as he came.

They didn't speak as they pulled themselves together, Rachel noting the dark outline of a finger print against her thigh and teeth marks that would be hidden by her shirt but completely visible without it. She wasn't even sure exactly how she felt about the events, though Blaine seemed to know she needed silence to collect her thoughts as he waited for her to finish making sure she was presentable before leading her back into the hallway and to the room Cooper was to be coming back into eventually.

Sugar was sitting in the room, curled up under a blanket on top of an uncomfortable looking chair, and while she looked up at their reappearance, she didn't say a word at Rachel's disheveled hair or the missing button from Blaine's shirt that she hadn't realized she'd broken off, choosing instead to focus out the window next to her while Blaine collapsed in another chair, Rachel falling to the ground against the wall. No one spoke while they waited, Blaine's mind surely back on his brother while Sugar's had never left it, and while Rachel was concerned, she had what felt like 900 other things racing through her mind.

If she and Jesse were still together, she had confirmed his worst suspicions and cheated, gone behind his back and not only fallen in love with another but acted on it at a time of high strung emotions. He would never forgive her, if he found out, and she couldn't decide if she should tell him or not. The rational, moral side of her was screaming that she had to, that she wasn't a liar and a cheat and that maybe the engagement had been just as big a joke as Sugar had seemed to make it be. The devil on her shoulder told her that what he didn't know wouldn't hurt her, that it had taken extraordinary measures for anything to happen, and that she'd only ruin not only her life, but potentially Jesse and Blaine's if the truth got out. It was a one-time incident, she tried to tell herself, something she'd never let happen again.

The devil on her shoulder didn't seem to want to agree.


	9. Chapter 9

Blaine didn't sleep at all that night, choosing instead to hover over his brother's form as Cooper slept off the various medications they'd put him under for the surgery, to pace the room while Sugar passed out in a chair and Rachel watched his every move, never once making a sound as her eyes trailed him. He wanted to tell her to go home, to go back to Jesse, but she hadn't. She had sat in the room and grabbed his hand when he felt overwhelmed with everything and when he started crying-from frustration about them, from worry for his brother, from the stress of everything-she had simply pulled him to her, holding onto him and keeping him sane a little bit longer.

By the time dawn arrived, he asked her to go, and while she tried to fight him off he pointed out that she was nearing exhaustion, bags heavy under her eyes and that she had to go back on that stage that night. The fact that Blaine had noticed the date sometime around 4am had been left unsaid, that he couldn't stand to have her around on Valentine's day while she was still engaged to another after what he had pushed her into unspoken between them. He'd made sure she got into a cab safely, waving her off before heading back to Cooper's room where his brother was awaking slowly, a curious look on his face in Blaine's direction.

"How are you feeling?" Blaine asked as he moved towards Cooper's bed, adjusting blankets and busying himself, but Cooper simply shook his head, pointing towards the door.

"Was that Rachel who just left?" he asked, Blaine's hesitant smile fading immediately as he glanced in the direction Cooper had just pointed in.

"That's not important right now," Blaine said sternly, adjusting Cooper's pillow for him. "What's important is that we make sure you're in working order and better. Sebastian will only let you out of commission for so long before he demands you back."

"I'll be fine," Cooper promised, ignoring his remarks as Sugar started to stir in her chair from the voices in the room, his attention immediately drawn in her direction.

"She's been there all night," Blaine said quietly, nodding in Sugar's direction. "I've never seen her so quiet, either."

"I was on my way to propose to her, you know," Cooper whispered back, and Blaine could see the pure love he had for the girl shine over his features as he gazed in Sugar's direction. "Might be kind of a damper to now, but-I'm going to. Soon."

"You really love her, huh?" Blaine inquired, watching as his brother stared at the caramel colored hair splayed over the arm of the chair.

"More than anything," Cooper admitted. "She's perfect, and imperfect at the same time. She makes me laugh and she challenges me and she's a drama queen, but I can't imagine waking up next to any other face for the rest of my life. She's the only one I'm ever going to want again." Blaine felt his heart jump in his chest at his brothers words, tried to fight off the images that immediately came to mind-Rachel, sleepy eyed and curled up next to him in the late hours of the night as they talked about anything and everything; Rachel and him dancing around in his kitchen while she laughed louder than he'd heard her do elsewhere; Rachel, unfurling under his fingertips time and time again.

"How do you know?" he finally asked, voice slightly hoarse as he tried to fight off the slight panic at his thoughts.

"You just do," Cooper shrugged. "When you find her-you know, this is it, and there's no turning back, even if you wanted to.

"I'm happy for you," Blaine told him earnestly, collapsing onto a chair as a doctor came in to check on Cooper, Sugar waking up in the process. Her trademark smile seemed to shine up the room as soon as the news was delivered that after a few days of rest and another night or two of observation, Cooper would be as good as new, the girl practically bounding into the small hospital bed to curl up next to Cooper. "I'll leave you two be," Blaine offered as he stood, Sugar calling after him before he could get to the door.

"Are you going to talk to Rachel?" she asked, Cooper's gaze ripped from his girlfriend's face and back to Blaine's as he seemed to remember what they had been talking about before Blaine sufficiently distracted him.

"I wasn't planning on it just yet, no," Blaine said uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck as they both stared at him.

"What happened?" Cooper asked, and Blaine was ready to just go with his usual remark of 'nothing, don't worry about it,' when Sugar answered for him.

"They slept together."

Blaine's face fell as Cooper laughed and shook his head, clearly ready to disagree before he took in Blaine's startled appearance, a "Wait, when?" startling Blaine into denial.

"We didn't-"

"Yes, you do," Sugar replied casually, her arm swung across Cooper's chest. "I've known Rachel for like, ever, don't you think I'd know what she looks like when she stumbles home late from Jesse's? She totally had that look when you two came back last night."

"Last _night_?" Cooper cried out, seeming distressed over the matter and Blaine tried to figure out a way to explain himself, but was saved once more by Sugar answering for him.

"After you went up into surgery. Blaine was like, freaking out, big time, and I saw Rachel pull him out of here and then they were gone for awhile and when they came back-sex hair." Blaine couldn't even deny the statement, in the end, and Cooper reached out to high five him, only to retract his hand as Blaine shot him a glare.

"Despite what you two seem to think, this isn't a _good _thing," he hissed, thoroughly annoyed that they were even making him talk about this when he was running on so little sleep and so soon after it happened. "She's still with Jesse, still engaged to him. She still ran back there first thing this morning, off to spend her Valentine's day with him because god knows she won't be stupid enough to tell him what happened." He let out a groan of frustration, because he wanted her to tell him, he wanted her to finally break free of Jesse so Blaine could stop feeling so damn guilty about wanting her.

"Blaine," Cooper said, but he just shook off whatever his brother wanted to say, because he didn't want to hear it. He wanted to focus on Cooper and get him back to health and bring him home before he worried about what a mess he had made out of things, the room falling silent for approximately 30 seconds before Sugar deemed it necessary to speak again.

"I know you like, totally don't want to talk about it," she said quietly, her eyes searching for his own and holding his gaze steady, "but it's time to get real here, Anderson. Rachel doesn't just leave her shows. Once, she blew off Jesse when he had mono so she wouldn't be late for an understudy role in a school production. But she left the middle of her Broadway performance to come check on you. Not me, not Cooper, you." It was the most intelligent Sugar had ever sounded, and the most observant, and it glued him to his spot by the door as he let her words crash over him. "Like it or not, you two love each other. And you both know it. So go and do something about it already."

* * *

But he didn't. He hid in the hospital for four more days until they were told Cooper could come home, Sugar literally pushing Blaine out of the way and insisting that he go back to work because she could take care of his brother herself, and it was apprehensively that he finally did so. He didn't know what kind of landmine he was walking into, Mike simply wishing him luck when he walked past, and it only served to heighten his nerves. He'd avoided talking to Rachel even if he felt like a dick for doing it, unsure of how he'd react to hearing the news that she'd inevitably gone back to Jesse once more while already under so much other stress.

He hadn't expected to find Jesse waiting for him in his dressing room, leaning against his vanity with a glare so deep Blaine would have flinched had he any fear of the guy. "Hello," Blaine greeted tersely, depositing his backpack on the ground next to him while Jesse didn't even seem to care as he grunted in response. "Is there something I can help you with?" Blaine asked after a moment, his arms folding across his chest as he tried to hold his own, and it was stupid to-he knew that-but Jesse's defensive stance made him want to prepare himself for whatever he was going to throw at him.

"You mean, besides destroying my relationship?" Jesse asked, Blaine paling slightly as he realized that Rachel must have told him. He didn't know how to take that, but he didn't have much time to process it either as Jesse continued on, oblivious to Blaine's inner turmoil. "You just couldn't back off when I asked you to, Anderson, and now you've won-she ran to you, and you ditch her for four days?"

"My brother was in the hospital," Blaine reminded as calmly as he could. "I was a little preoccupied."

"Not preoccupied enough to stop from helping yourself to my fiancée, however," Jesse smirked, though his eyes were deadened in a way that almost frightened Blaine.

"I didn't-"

"You did, don't fucking _lie _to me about it," Jesse seethed as he finally pushed himself away from his seat, moving closer towards Blaine. "She came to me, and she told me, because she thought it was time she was honest with me. How she'd somehow fallen for you without meaning to, something I could have told you both months ago. How even though I told her if she ran after you, we were through, she couldn't help herself."

"You told her you were through?" Blaine asked quietly, Jesse laughing sharply at him.

"Does that ease some of your guilt, Anderson? Make it easier for you to sleep at night, so you don't have to toss and turn and think about how she was engaged before you slept with her?"

"Maybe she wouldn't have done so if you weren't such a prick," Blaine retorted, getting more than annoyed with Jesse's endless tirades against him. "Maybe if you put half as much effort into being her boyfriend as you did into hating me, she wouldn't have fallen for me. Maybe she would have lived happily ever after with you!"

"Don't put this on me!" Jesse shouted, Blaine shaking his head with a small laugh. "This isn't _my _fault!"

"Of course it is," Blaine argued, not bothering to hold back all the things he'd noticed over the past few months. "Every single time you told her to stay away from me, everything you did to trap her more and claim her as your own, it just drove her farther away. If it wasn't me, it might have been someone else, but the truth of the matter is you two don't work. Everyone can see it, and Rachel can too-so you're the only one still holding on. Just let her go, and save both of you some pain."

Blaine didn't have time to duck before he saw Jesse's fist flying towards him, only able to block him from doing anything worse as he caught his left eye, Blaine wincing in pain as a shrill voice yelled Jesse's name. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Jesse St. James!" Rachel cried, rushing inside Blaine's already crowded dressing room and glancing at his eye. "I told you to leave Blaine out of this!"

"Just like you left Blaine out of it before we even broke up?" Jesse yelled, and Rachel just ignored him, shaking her head as she hesitantly reached out to touch the already bruising skin around Blaine's eye. She shot Jesse a final glare before she dragged Blaine out of the room, muttering about finding somewhere quiet to clean him up and make sure he was okay.

She led him, hand intertwined with his own as if by instinct, towards the kitchen in the basement where they kept their communal snacks, patting a spot on the counter until he slid himself on top of it while she readied an ice pack for him to press against the spot. "It'll help with the swelling," she sighed as she pressed it lightly against his skin, Blaine flinching slightly at the sudden cold and pressure.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, unable to look her in the eye with his one good one, but she only scoffed at him in return.

"It's not your fault," she told him, so self-assured and confident that he couldn't help the small smile that broke over his face. "I would have warned you to stay away from him-he's been on the warpath ever since I broke up with him, but I didn't know you'd be back already."

"I didn't either," he admitted quietly as she checked his eye once more, fingers hesitant as they brushed over the damaged skin. "Cooper got out of the hospital, and Sugar literally pushed me out of my own apartment and told me to come back to work." She smiled slightly at that, though she seemed focused on the task of keeping his eye from swelling too much and didn't say anything more. He watched her for a moment, saw a light in her eyes he hadn't noticed before, and he wondered if that's what being free from Jesse had done for her, or if it was finally admitting to each other that they wanted one another, or if it was something else entirely. "You're happy," he decided to point out, knowing she'd elaborate on her own.

"I am," she agreed, handing him the ice pack so she could slide onto the counter next to him, plucking at the hem of her dress before she continued. "I realized after the other night that I couldn't deny anything anymore."

"How you felt, you mean," Blaine said, and she nodded.

"How I feel," she corrected. "I loved Jesse, for a long time, and even a few months ago I would have given my heart and soul to be his wife until the end of time. But we've both changed, in many ways, and we're not meant for each other anymore. Regardless and separate of how I feel for you, I can't be with him anymore. He's not the Jesse I fell in love with, and he's not one I particularly want to be in love with anymore."

"So you ended it," Blaine said quietly, and she nodded again. She looked sad for a moment, but a wistful sad for times long gone and he waited for her to start again, giving her a moment of quiet to collect her thoughts.

"So I ended it."

"And where does that leave us?" he prodded when she didn't say anything more, ignoring her slight glare in his direction. He could understand why-he had waited four days after the fact to even talk to her about any of this, but he had hoped to clear his mind, had hoped she'd clear hers and that they could approach this calmly and rationally-like adults.

"I don't want to be naïve enough to think it's a smart idea to jump into anything," she told him, jumping off the counter and pacing across the kitchen. He put the ice pack down where she had been seated, watching her warily and ready for her defenses to go up, to have to try and fight for her again-he didn't particularly want to jump through so many hoops, but he knew he would if it was what it would take. "So I'm giving myself some time, to be alone. I haven't been in practically four years, after all, and what kind of person jumps from a commitment like that to a new relationship within a few days?"

"That's a true point," he conceded, a smile flashing over her face as she stopped pacing, tilting her head to take him in.

"But everything you said the other day-how I avoided talking about it, dealing with it at all really-you were right. I do have feelings for you, and I tried to talk myself out of them for so long because it's impractical and I had a boyfriend-"

"But you don't," he pointed out, "not anymore."

She smiled, taking a hesitant step closer to him even as he slid off the counter. "I don't," she agreed, her eyes once more shining brightly as he moved towards her.

"You're officially single," Blaine smirked, and Rachel shook her head, laughing as she grabbed onto his hand, squeezing it lightly.

"No," she argued, Blaine looking at her in confusion. "My heart has been taken, and there's only one person I can see myself being with now."

He knew that she needed time, that she needed to be on her own for a little while and he was more than willing to give her that space but her words warmed a part of his heart he hadn't realized had been cut off from the rest of him, and he dragged her to him to kiss her deeply if only because he knew, now, that in a short amount of time he'd be able to whenever he pleased. Because Cooper was right-when it was right, you knew, and you'd do anything to hold onto it.

* * *

**a/n**: after this, we really just have the epilogue and i wanted to say thank you to every single person who has been reading and reviewing this fic-you're all so wonderful and i love you a lot okay


	10. Epilogue

"Are you nervous?" Rachel asked, brushing aside a stray lock of hair so that it fell into place before fixing the veil atop Sugar's head. "It's kind of a big day."

"Not really," she shrugged, though the excitement was written all over her features. She had barely stopped talking about this day since Cooper finally proposed, over Memorial Day weekend almost a year ago, a month before Rachel gave in to what she should have nearly a year prior to that and started to date Blaine.

"There's going to be a lot of paparazzi after we leave the church," Rachel reminded her-the wedding had somehow gotten the media's attention, probably due to the grooms latest successful album, not to mention that the best man and maid of honor were fast approaching their last days on a Broadway stage together. But Sugar, for once, didn't seem to care about all the attention she had garnered. She was happy, completely in love and Rachel had never seen her so calm about something. It was almost unsettling.

"I heard," Sugar replied as she fixed her lip stick. "But contrary to popular belief and the two page spread about my wedding in _People _this week, I'm still just an average girl getting married."

Rachel let out a small laugh, shaking her head and helping Sugar stand in her giant white gown. "Sugar Motta, I don't think you've ever been anything less than extraordinary."

Sugar grinned, throwing her arms around Rachel and they swayed back and forth as they tried not to cry, the nuptials meaning such a huge change for them. Cooper and Sugar had bought their own apartment, twenty blocks away from the one Sugar and Rachel had been living in for what felt like a lifetime, while Rachel had accepted Blaine's offer to move in with him in the apartment she spent most of her free time in anyways. With the musical coming to a close, and Rachel already lining up a new role-the title role in Evita in its revival-they'd rarely get to see each other.

"It won't be long until we're doing this for you," Sugar sang quietly as she pulled away from Rachel, blinking so no tears would fall and ruin her make up that had taken an excessive amount of time to perfect.

"Don't be ridiculous," Rachel smiled, "Blaine and I aren't even discussing marriage yet. We haven't even been dating a year, we're not in any rush."

"Cooper barely waited a year before he proposed to me," Sugar pointed out. "And you know he had wanted to for like, ever by that point."

Rachel just shrugged; she was content with where they were. It had taken what felt like a lifetime to get to a point where she was truly over Jesse, ridden of any vestige of him and while Blaine had waited patiently for her to be ready for him, there was a slight sorrow that she had taken too long to figure it out in the first place. She was in no rush for them to take anything further, Blaine still trying to figure out what his next step in his career was while Rachel was just happy to be moving in with him, she felt they had all the time in the world to figure out the rest of their lives.

Still, as she headed down the aisle just before Sugar, Blaine smiling from his spot as best man, she could feel the flutter in her heart that insisted she wanted this more than she'd acknowledge, to be wearing a flowing white dress of her own and headed for the man she had fallen in love with. Her eyes watered during the vows, the look of pure adoration on Cooper's face only eclipsed by the grin Blaine shot her from behind his brother, the one she had seen thousands of times before performances, over dinners and first thing in the morning or last thing at night.

The transition between the ceremony and the reception was hectic, filled with photographs and helping Sugar with her giant dress get into the limo, barely a moment for more than a peck on the cheek in passing. She didn't get to actually see Blaine until they arrived at the hall, cornering him before they could head inside with a quick kiss, a quiet "I love you," exchanged and soon they returned to the hall hand in hand as they made their way to the table designated for the bridal party.

"For the first time ever, I would like to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Cooper Anderson!" was announced by the DJ they had hired as they walked in, everyone cheering and Rachel didn't think she'd ever seen two people look more in love, not until Blaine's hand was reaching for her own and she leaned against his shoulder, a smile on her face.

"You know," she told him once they were on the dance floor, Sugar and Cooper swaying nearby, completely wrapped up in their own world, "Sugar said it wasn't long before this would be us."

"Ms. Berry," Blaine gasped, feigning shock as he brought his hand dramatically to his chest, "are you trying to _propose_ to me?"

She rolled her eyes and swatted his hand away, her smirk still in place even as he replaced his hand on her waist, dragging her a little closer to himself. "Of course not," she told him, her arms locked firmly around his neck and she leaned into him. "I was just making light conversation."

He snorted, shaking his head. "'Light'," he repeated, but he had a smile on his face and the familiar glint in his eye that she knew much better than to trust by now. "I didn't know potentially discussing _marriage _counted as a little light conversation nowadays."

"Ah, well then I guess you're pretty lucky to have me then," she teased, laughing as he dipped her dramatically, placing his lips tenderly on her neck before standing her back upright.

"I guess I am," he murmured quietly into her hair, Rachel's grip around him tightening.

* * *

The night flashed by in a whisk of champagne, toasting, laughter and it was with a proud smile that Blaine and Rachel eventually saw Cooper and Sugar off, the two headed to Europe for their honeymoon the next morning.

Blaine held tight to Rachel's hand, the warm spring breeze blowing lightly against them as they walked across the deserted park. He had wanted to take a cab, said it would be safer and looked pointedly at her heels when she insisted on walking, but he caved after a few minutes and made sure his grip on her was unwavering.

They were passing through the pond when he stopped her, Rachel turning to look at him with surprise. "Are you okay?" she asked, her voice hushed in the darkness of the night and he just smiled at her, nodding.

"I just-I was going to wait, but I don't think I can anymore," he replied with a voice as quiet as hers was. She looked at him in confusion, not knowing what he was going on about until he took both her hands in his own, his gaze unwavering. "I actually had this really elaborate plan, for the last night of _Phantom_-during curtain call-but," he halted, slipping a hand into his coat pocket and holding out a simple black box as he kneeled down in front of her, Rachel covering her own gasp of surprise with a hand.

"Blaine, what are you-"

"I love you, Rachel. I've been in love with you probably since you yelled at me the first time we met, one of the few people to ever even attempt to put me in my place before we even knew one another. I can imagine no other woman I want to wake up to every day, to sing trashy music with while we make dinner, to have on my side anytime I need someone. I want you, forever." She could feel her heart beating in her chest, her eyes wide and even as he finally opened the box, a simple diamond ring nestled in black velvet, the words "Rachel Berry, will you marry me?" were completely unnecessary, her "Yes!" in response far too loud for the quiet night as she laughed, a tear gathering at the corner of her eye as he jumped up to kiss her, the ring in his hands still between them as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Yes, Blaine, a thousand times yes," she breathed, finally allowing him space to place the dainty ring on her finger, her eyes unable to choose between staring at it and Blaine's happy expression.

"Now," he said, wrapping an arm around her waist as they continued their way home, "if you end up spending the day with someone else tomorrow, I'm going to get a little worried." She slapped him on the chest, shaking her head as she laughed, Blaine feigning pain but he kissed the side of her head regardless, his lips moving to find her ear so he could whisper nearly silently in it. "Let's get you home, Mrs. Blaine Anderson."

"Let's."

* * *

**a/n**: okay well, that's-that's the end. i hope that it was good and that you all enjoyed it and i have to say thank you again to all the wonderful people who have read/reviewed/etc because you all make me :3 every time you do. and a super awesome mega love full of thanks to kira (claddaugh ring) for the 9,000th time for helping me with this every step i go, and of course to nikki for helping me whenever i got stuck on sugar-my sugar is only half as wonderful as she is because of nikki's help.


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